4674 replies to this topic

[Zoey <3]

Favorite quote? Oh man! So much epic things were said! I don't know where to start. I might have to reread it, just to find my favorite quote

[Pigquet3]

Favorite quote? Oh man! So much epic things were said! I don't know where to start. I might have to reread it, just to find my favorite quote

Agreed! I'm certainly gonna reread certain parts tomorrow and analyze it more. 'Cause that's what I do. Blame my mom. She's very big on over analyzing things to death, and I think I've picked up that trait.





Pigquet

[Mara=^.^=]

Agreed! I'm certainly gonna reread certain parts tomorrow and analyze it more. 'Cause that's what I do. Blame my mom. She's very big on over analyzing things to death, and I think I've picked up that trait.

I EAGERLY await your massive rant.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Pigquet3]

Mara. You freakin' quoted me. What up with that?! ROFL





Pigquet

[Mara=^.^=]

Because you are essence of rofl, Pigs

Anyway, let's play a maaaaaaagical game! Fill in the blank, for maximum lulz:

AURORA: Neutron, before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once…__________________________________________ (you provide the rest)


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Beks]

-let me be on top."

[okmeamithinknow]

I think I'm going for the most obvious answer here, but...

AURORA: Neutron, before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once… let me wear the pink bathrobe...

or

AURORA: Neutron, before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once… shut the hell up.

Neither are up to my usual par of funny, but my brain's running on empty...

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

AURORA: Neutron, before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once… shut the hell up.

LOL, that'd actually be really hilarious...

-let me be on top."

Yup. Already thought of that one myself

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

My turn!

AURORA: Neutron, before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once…
Join me in a serenade!!

**Cracking spontaneous stage smiles, they both break out into song and high-steppin' dance**

DJ: If I could write you a song,
And make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my aaaaarm

AURORA: I used up all of my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
But you probably won't,
You think you're cooler than me.

DJ: You got a masked disguise
Just to hide your eyes and
You wear it around like
You're cooler than me.

AURORA: And you never say hey,
Or choose to use my real name and
It's probably cause
You think you're cooler than me!

DJ: You got my high brow
Suit on your feet,
And you wear it around,
Like it ain't shit.

AURORA: But you don't know,
The way that you look,
When your steps
Make

DJ: That

AURORA: Much

DJ: Noise.

AURORA: Shh.

DJ: See!
I got youuuu,
All figured out

AURORA: You need everyone's eyes just to feel seen...

DJ: Girl. You're so vain,
You probably think that this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?

AURORA: If I could write you a song,
And make you fall in love,

DJ: I would already have you up under my arm.
I used up all my tricks,

AURORA: I hope that you like this.
But you probably won't,
You think you're cooler than me.

DJ: You got a masked disguise
Just to hide your eyes and
You wear it around like
You're cooler than me.

AURORA: And you never say hey,
Or choose to use my real name and
It's probably cause
You think you're cooler than me.

AURORA and DJ: I said it's probably cause, you think you're cooler than me!

**resume fight to the death**


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Zoey <3]

Hahahahahahaha! Oh man! Those are great! I'm going to give it a shot, but i'm sure it will be lame.



Neutron,before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once can you go jump off a cliff!!!!

Or

Neutron,before you take me away from here, there’s just one other thing I want. One minor concession, that’s all. Lord knows I’ve never asked for a favor from you before, but just this once can you stop farting!? Ew!

[SweeneyxxTodd]

DJ: Unlike your version of the suit, which is only good for simple firepower, my version has built-in performance enhancers.
MARA: Dirty thoughts
KATIE: So many dirty thoughts

That was totally my first reaction to that quote too!

DICTATOR: You see, I have a new toy…

You don't even have to guess what was going through my mind at this point xDDDDD

Could it really get any deeper?

DJ can. Easily.



hahaha. These chapters were epic!!!! My mind was in the gutter during the entire fight scene, of course, which probably influenced my reaction to the update. In my head, I was making so many dirty jokes about DJ and Aurora (and DJ and FS) whilst the characters were fighting to the death. And that scene where FL kicekd FS in the crotch and then knocked him out? Priceless.

I spent the entire two chapters hoping someone would get kicked in the crotch, and the fact that it happened when FL persuaded FS to fight with his eyes closed...just that much more amusing. I admit I was disappointed that Aurora never kicked DJ in the crotch, especially since she did knee him in the stomach at one point, but I guess it makes sense that she didn't. She's a skilled fighter, so she doesn't have to resort to basic female defense like FL does.

And this point right here:

**The flames begin to wither, and Aurora and Future Libby lean against one another, tired, injured, and emotionally drained. As the green light grows dimmer, they can make out two human-shaped shadows looming ominously beyond the curtain of fire. The silhouettes creep forward, growing larger and darker as they approach. Dictator Jimmy and Future Sheen morph through the blaze at last, closing in like wolves on their prey**

Love it! I change my vote to this as the last TOSOT illustration. I'd kill to see that drawn out. It's just such a great visualization.

My favorite quote by far, though, has to be this one:

DICTATOR: Well. Wasn’t that a serendipitous outcome to their fight…

[RocksmySocks]

You guys all make me so happy. I read/(helped write...in a very minimal way) these chapters months ago, and I'm so happy you guys finally get to see it. I was becoming impatient. I wanted to see the discussions!

My favorite part:

AURORA: (goading him) What’s the matter? Afraid I might pimp-smack you in the face again? Ha!
DICTATOR: I’m glad to see that you find your own immaturity so amusing.

And I also enjoy this:

**Future Sheen strikes Libby with the back of his hand. She falls backward, landing a few feet away on the floor. Shaking from surprise and fright, she touches the base of her nose and examines her fingertips. They are sticky with blood. She looks up at him, mouth agape**
FUTURE LIBBY: (shocked) You…you hit me!
DICTATOR: Of course he hit you, and he will continue to do so until I tell him to stop.

I think I just enjoy that last bit because I am DJ. It's just like...of COURSE he hit you. Duh. Libby, you're such a moron.



But seriously, I wish we could have recorded our conversation as we were working out some of these parts (and parts from the next installment). It was like no dialogue could be suggested without horrendously dirty connotations. It took forever.

[Mara=^.^=]

But seriously, I wish we could have recorded our conversation as we were working out some of these parts (and parts from the next installment). It was like no dialogue could be suggested without horrendously dirty connotations. It took forever.

No kidding. First of all, Katie was getting her vicarious DJ thrills the whole time, and second of all, we literally could not read 2 sentences together without giving each other "the look" and bursting out into a giggle fit.

Good times.

hahaha. These chapters were epic!!!! My mind was in the gutter during the entire fight scene, of course, which probably influenced my reaction to the update. In my head, I was making so many dirty jokes about DJ and Aurora (and DJ and FS) whilst the characters were fighting to the death.

Duh. That was the whole point of the chapter.

I admit I was disappointed that Aurora never kicked DJ in the crotch, especially since she did knee him in the stomach at one point, but I guess it makes sense that she didn't. She's a skilled fighter, so she doesn't have to resort to basic female defense like FL does.

Dude, I accidentally foreshadowed that like 2 years ago in the April-Aurora-FL sparring scene in the chapter "the art of war". Thank you, past self.

Love it! I change my vote to this as the last TOSOT illustration. I'd kill to see that drawn out. It's just such a great visualization.

Ya, that's one of the descriptions of which I'm most proud. Like all my best writing, it just came to me instantaneously and never needed to be tweaked/cajoled into behaving/etc. My favorite description, however, is this one: She slashes her arm down, sending a crescent of green fire wheeling toward him. He conjures up a column of blue flames from the air at his feet, and Aurora’s strike hits the barrier. The collision rends the energy masses apart, leaving behind only a dozen tiny flames which waft to the earth like incandescent feathers.

Somehow, somewhere, some poor random Indian dude jizzes in his pants every time I read that (I outsource my jizzing).


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

And I also enjoy this:

**Future Sheen strikes Libby with the back of his hand. She falls backward, landing a few feet away on the floor. Shaking from surprise and fright, she touches the base of her nose and examines her fingertips. They are sticky with blood. She looks up at him, mouth agape**
FUTURE LIBBY: (shocked) You…you hit me!
DICTATOR: Of course he hit you, and he will continue to do so until I tell him to stop.

I remember you were like frothing at the mouth from sheer joy when you read that back in the spring. You may have even guffawed.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[RocksmySocks]

I remember you were like frothing at the mouth from sheer joy when you read that back in the spring. You may have even guffawed.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

I do enjoy a good guffaw, almost as much as DJ enjoys an icy smirk.

[sam-ely-ember]

Sorry for breaking the amusing conversation you guys are having, but:

That's quite an ambitious project, Ely. Do you know what engine you'll be building your prototypes with?

It isn't that hard, you know. Prototypes are done in paper, or wood in extremal cases.
For example: if you're planning to create a first-person-shooter-game, you can make a "live prototype", you know, like playing paintball, proving all the rules and "plot" of your game with actors and stuff. The final version of the game is virtual, yes, but prototypes CAN'T, 'cause that means money...wasted money (if the prototypes don't work right).

---


Now back to the business:

ZOMG D: I can't believe I missed all the "maaaagical" games D:, I hate living in a country with different timezone. Anyway.

Favorite quotes...there are several, but I must say that DJ said the most epic ones. He was so a bastard at this chapters...but I LOVE how his character was developed, and so Aurora was. But you know, "villians" are waaaaay more attractive to the audience than heroes.


---

Mara, did you read my message about the game project? ._. I just want to know. I don't mind if you say "no way >-<", you know ._.


~Ely.

[Mara=^.^=]

You don't even have to guess what was going through my mind at this point xDDDDD :
DICTATOR: You see, I have a new toy…

In the first draft of that chapter written in my notebook, the line originally read "You see, I have a monstrous new toy..."
Like 5 seconds after I lifted my pen from the paper, I burst out laughing, then promptly crossed it out.

Mara, did you read my message about the game project? ._. I just want to know. I don't mind if you say "no way >-<", you know ._.

@Ely: Sure, go ahead! Just don't make millions

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Lizz]

After finishing reading the chapter this morning, I have to say I hate waiting for updates for awesome stories...but this was certainly worth the wait.
This fight scene was way more amazing than I imagined, I loved the action and banter. I don't know where to start with my review, so I'll just go with the flow...
First, DJ is one of the most awesome villains I've come to known, I swear everytime he went on his verbal attacks for Aurora or somebody else, I just sat there paralized at the computer as I read. You definitely have a knack for evil dialogue, I know since I write villain lines all the time.
I also never expected Goddard's fate, I had some idea, but it wasn't much close to what it turned out.
FS and FL were pretty good, I know this may seem bad, but I kinda liked when DJ was controlling FS to attack Aurora and FL, is that bad? lol
I'm anxious to know what will happen when DJ discovers the kids- especially his past self.
I think my favorite quote in the story is...everything that DJ says. (does that count?)
My favorite scene is the last bit of dialogue between DJ and Aurora. I never saw it coming, and I'm anxious to see what Aurora's going to do with DJ. I'm, dying to know!
So that's it, I think I'm gonna read it again later on.

[sam-ely-ember]

Ely: Sure, go ahead! Just don't make millions

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

Let's see how the things go XD
Thanks, girl you just saved my project.

[okmeamithinknow]

Another random after thought from Crys: What else has DJ force FS to do under the influence of his mind control.... Heeheehee....

~Crys~