4674 replies to this topic

[Macey]

CLIFFHANGER

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S A CLIFFHANGER

WHAT

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

MARA I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW OKAY






.....sob

[sam-ely-ember]

I've never enjoyed being DJ more than I enjoy it during these chapters.

I have to agree >w<

And...I was hyperventilating almost the whole time.



Mara, THANK YOU!

There was a lack of awesomesauce with cliffhangers in my life.


I may be dying of curiosity right now, but thank you. Man, I missed this story.


~Ely.

[Anita]

OMFG OMFG OMFG I JUST DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Well guys, this is it: the moment you've all been waiting for. The long-anticipated smackdown between the sinister Katie DJ and everyone's favorite angsty blonde, Aurora.

I spent upwards of 5+ hours “researching” for this installment by watching anime fight scenes, youtube clips of martial arts competitions, amateur self-defense vids, and the entirety of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I also forced my little brother to slow-motion fight with me so I could get down some of the moves, and I believe I may have even pinned Krista to a wall at one point. You'll have to judge for yourself whether my unorthodox research methods payed off.

I'd like to extend my sincerest thanks to Katie, without whom these two chapters would literally have never been finished. I can't believe this has become a compliment, but you really are DJ. I'd also like to thank Krista for listening to me screech an earlier draft of this installment, and Beks for accidentally giving me the inspiration I needed to finish the final version. Finally, I'd like to say how grateful I am for everyone's patience...I realize I'm the slowest updater on the face of God's green earth.

So, here we go! Click the links below, and read away! (since this installment is so long, may I suggest a brief pause after Chapter 39 to digest what you've read? Just sayin' )

Chapter 39: Winner Take All
Chapter 40: End Game

Make sure to tell me what you thought...running commentary is the tasty blood cocktail to my inner vampire.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =
P.S. I made the last installment I posted – you know, the one where FC meets with the kids – into its own chapter. Just 'cause.

I'll be sure to read this tomorrow when I have more free time, cuz at this moment I only have half an hour left online, then I have to get off for the night. But I'm looking forward to this all the same! I can almost feel its epicness!!!! YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSHHHHH!!!!!

[girlgenius123]

That has got to be the cruelest cliffhanger ever. D:

(Brief) Thoughts:

*I really enjoyed the banter during the fight scenes. In my mind, I thought "oooooo, BURN!" a couple of times.
*Same to the fighting in general. It can be extremely hard to write combat down when you can't see it.
*Did DJ seriously reference TV Tropes?
*GO (future) LIBBY!

I look forward to...well, the answer to that cliffhanger. *walks off, muttering something that sounds like "what favor does Aurora want?" under my breath*

[sam-ely-ember]

I don't want to take advantage of the epicness we're living on, but...

Mara, girl, I have a really really important thing to ask you.

I have this project at college, we need to develop somekind of game (you know, videogame and stuff) and my partner (who knows and admires your work, btw), thought that using TOSOT as the principal story would be amazing. I have to agree, it would be, but obviously I wouldn't do that without your permission (and we wouldn't work with the whole story, maybe we'll just focus on the "paralel universe story" thingy).
And we're actually not going to develop the game to the final stage, just prototipes and a huge written project.

What do you say? ._.


~Ely.

[Anita]

Ok, now I'm a little better

the favor that Aurora is asking... what can it be? Soooo, sooo many possibilities... But I hope it's the one I'm thinking (though I think THAT isn't going to happen NOW)

Mara, thank you so much for these chapters... really... When I finnished the first one, I was like SJADIUYASUYSADIUHFS OMG!!!, but the last scene of the second one killed me almost literally

[Pigquet3]

Tonight was the absolute highlight of my summer! Just...because... of this...

I thank you forever, Mara! And, I'll make a more appropriate comment and review probably the day after tomorrow.

But, yesh, that was amazing! It all came to this. Our obesssing and reading and agonizing, and all your hard work came to THIS in the end...even though its not the end just yet, its so close...I can feel it.

Can't wait to read this disgusting yet brilliant madness to my children someday.





Pigquet

P.S. And, major thank you to Katie! 'Cause I know you inspired this in more ways than one!

P.S.S. DAMN CLIFFHANGERS!!! I NEED THE ANSWER!!!

[Mara=^.^=]

the favor that Aurora is asking... what can it be? Soooo, sooo many possibilities...

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT FAVOR AURORA WILL ASK?

THE NEXT LINE SHE SAYS IS.......................................
..................
..................
.................
................
..............
............
.........
.......
....

I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME FEEEEEEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN

lol jk


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[okmeamithinknow]

DJ makes me chuckle in the deepest darkest places of my soul....

Wait who said that?

So anyway, that was bloody brilliant. Mara, you little.... You're such a tease! You manage to give me more than I expected every time and yet still leave me wanting more. The next installment had better be soon-ish.

~Crys~

[Beks]

Just finished Ch 39! OMG SO EPIC! I'm gonna take a short snack break and get into Ch 40!

[Mara=^.^=]

Wooohooo!

Eat some chocolate; it helps!


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

CLIFFHANGER

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S A CLIFFHANGER

Dude, that installment was 26 pages. That's the longest installment ever. I had to cut it off somewhere...it just happened to be right in the middle of a tense scene

*Did DJ seriously reference TV Tropes?
*GO (future) LIBBY!

Wait, what trope?

Also, thank God you didn't find Future Libby annoying. That was the biggest challenge of the whole writing experience for me - getting FL to come off as competent and non-damselish even though she's the only "normal" human out of the lot of them.

I look forward to...well, the answer to that cliffhanger. *walks off, muttering something that sounds like "what favor does Aurora want?" under my breath*

What favor does Aurora want?
How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop?
The world may never know...


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[RocksmySocks]

What favor does Aurora want?
How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop?
The world may never know...


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

See, I know the answer to both of those things.

But that is true. The rest of the world may never know.

[Mara=^.^=]

SO GUYS, QUESTION TIME.

What was the biggest "twist" of the installment?



In other words, what caught you most by surprise? Were you shocked that Aurora effectively lost the fight? How about that FL and FS showed up and FS proceeded to go all feral on her ass, only to be kicked in the crotch and knocked unconscious???!11? ohlol it sounds so hilarious summed up in a sentence


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Pigquet3]

OHHHHH, I'M FEELING SO HAPPPYYYYYYYYY...TONIGHT!!!~

No, really, I'm feeling that awesome, just-read-an-epic-TOSOT-installment feeling that I've missed so much! Made me summer worthwhile!

Oh, I know! And, it FELT like the longest installment ever. Maybe because so much was happening, but also because it truly was long! I had to take a couple breaks just to relax and take it all in, and reread a couple of parts to understand what was going on. I agree that it IS very hard to write this kind of action and picture it...without actually picturing it. Amazingly (at least for me, I don't know about everyone else), you can picture these fight scenes very well! I'm so impressed!

Well, yeah, of course I found FL ANNOYING. She's always ANNOYING to me, but ya know, that's me. lol I hate her! XD I was happy for her when she grew some sort of a backbone and whacked Sheen with the metal. And, loved what Aurora had to say about it!

But, honestly (and I've already said this to Pedro): There's nothing I love more in an installment of this story than hearing DJ tell off FL. Life is gooood...


Mara, I LOL'd so much at:

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT FAVOR AURORA WILL ASK?

THE NEXT LINE SHE SAYS IS.......................................
..................
..................
.................
................
..............
............
.........
.......
....

I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME FEEEEEEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN

I knew you weren't really going to give it out, but I didn't expect something as awesome as THAT! You kill me! I think we all needed that bit of comic relief tonight after that intensity, am I right? LOL

Again, I love you forever, Mara, and for this shit, I am eternally in your debt. (*coughdramaticmughcough*)


More detailed reviews to come! And, I have plenty to say! XDDD For right now I'll just kick back, reread some parts, chat with Pedro on AIM, and enjoy your/Katie's and everyone elses posts on this topic.






Pigquet

[David]

That's quite an ambitious project, Ely. Do you know what engine you'll be building your prototypes with?

And honestly, Mara, those entire two chapters, while entirely unpredictable, weren't all the surprising to me. Aurora simply could not win. While I had forgotten about Sheen and Libby and did not expect them to show up, the mental conditioning was no surprise (especially to someone like me who reads/watches/plays a lot of Sci-Fi, and for a huge Serenity/Firefly fan ).

The cliffhanger is really the biggest twist of all. That and all the banter. Almost didn't expect much banter considering DJ is so cold. Guess EVERYONE has the get their jollies somehow. lol

That being said, it was fantastically written, and awesome beyond belief. Also, not happy about ending. Plz fix naow k thx.

[Mara=^.^=]

Well, yeah, of course I found FL ANNOYING. She's always ANNOYING to me, but ya know, that's me. lol I hate her! XD I was happy for her when she grew some sort of a backbone and whacked Sheen with the metal. And, loved what Aurora had to say about it!

LOL, Theenie, as Pedro has mentioned to me numerous times, you have a problem with women, especially feminine ones.

Interesting, though, that she's a polarizing character. Some people love her (myself included), and others wanna pitch her off a rooftop. Everyone likes DJ, though. Villains have all the fun

Guess EVERYONE has the get their jollies somehow.

BEST COMMENT EVER

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Pigquet3]

Is it even possible for a human soul to really NOT like DJ? I mean, in all honesty, is it?





Pigquet

[Mara=^.^=]

I think we all needed that bit of comic relief tonight after that intensity, am I right?

LOL, I actually think that the most "intense" moments were actually some of the funniest in the story. Katie and I went through and annotated the chapter with a few...comments of our own. It vastly improves the reading experience

For example:

DJ: Unlike your version of the suit, which is only good for simple firepower, my version has built-in performance enhancers.
MARA: Dirty thoughts
KATIE: So many dirty thoughts

or

DJ: Like I said before, I know you, Vortex.
MARA: Biblically!

or

AURORA: Screw you !
MARA: I knew you'd come to see it my way eventually...

or

AURORA: Now they treat me like a disease, like you've infected me somehow ...
MARA: It's Syphilis.

or

DICTATOR: You see, I have a new toy…
MARA: And it vibrates!

or

AURORA: Get off get off get off GET OFF!
KATIE: Oh, trust me, he is.

And so on. You get the idea




~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =