4674 replies to this topic

[Mara=^.^=]

I actually re-wrote most of the chapter "Alternative" to be more realistic, but that version is on ff.net. I haven't updated here.

Any suggestions/feedback/commentary are more than welcome. In fact, they're like catnip for Mara. :P

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[loopin]

OMG!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOOVVVEEEDDD IT!!!!
:kawaii: :kawaii: :kawaii: :kawaii:

GEEZZ!! I can't believe how well you planed Dictator Jimmy's base! It's both brilliant, functional, cool, and it has dictator Jimmy written all over it! (Hehe, get it?? It's a written fanfiction, and Dictator Jimmy is written all over it!! :lol:

*Cricket* *Cricket*

.... er..... it was a good chapter Mara! Also, good idea bringing the Air Gum in... and even better idea making Sheen think of it!! :lol:

[Mara=^.^=]

Thanks! :wub:

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Beks]

And you made Carl a hero! :wub: :wub:

[Mara=^.^=]

Just for you, Beks ;)

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Beks]

First Sheen's a hero, and now Carl. The guys get really chivilrish in this! I love it! :wub:

[Mara=^.^=]

Except D.J. LOL :lol:

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Bianca]

I loved that chapter!! :wub: It was awesome, I'm dying to know what happens next!!!!! :lol:


-BIaNcA

[LittleMissPriss]

omg when r u updating, mara???????????????

[iloveslinky]

She, uh, she updated just a little while ago.

Slink

[Mara=^.^=]

Sorry about the massive hold-up on this, but Volume 2 of TOSOT in Paragraph format is FINALLY up. I feel that it's a significant improvement over the script version (I made a lot of changes, esp. in the logic of the antidote). Anyone who feels like killing some time or who just wants to get more TOSOT at any cost should go check it out: Volume 2 Paragraph format

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Flank]

OK, I finally had time, mood and good food to read all TOSOT goodness that we have at the moment. (I don't need to explain about time, tiredness, etc.)
I'm so excited, it's the best fanfic I've ever read. And now, when I've read it, I fit in, I'm one of you for sure.
"Silence"
Right!?
"A brick flying from Mara's direction almost touches Flank's head"
Is this some kind of an initiation ritual? Anyway, I'll post some comments a bit later.

[Flank]

It's hard to speak about it avoiding cliche, like, "AAAH, it's the best fanfic I've ever read, you rock Mara!" I need something unusual to express my feelings. Like to wear a t-shirt "I love TOSOT", or "I love..." hm, or to die my hair pink. OK, I think, I'll do what I do the best. I think, Mara knows what it soon will be.

[Flank]

Another cliche, I'm dieing to read what happens next! But, don't rush Mara, if you need, take all time in the Universe to finish it.
"Brick'd by everyone except Mara".

[iloveslinky]

Hey, Mara. I'm wondering.

We have more than our fair share of drawings of Aurora.



Dictator Jimmy is featured too.



Libby as well.



Even Sheeney Baby (who hasn't really even entered the story yet) has his own sheet.



April even, who isn't even in the original gang, has her part too.



Well, where's our Future Carlito's pic? BEKS! COME! BACK ME UP!

Slink

[Beks]

Yeah, I wanna see a hunky Carl! It seems like all the characters get more hot 10 years in the future, so I wanna see Carl with 6-pack abs! Or really hunky arms!

Or if he's just an Igor type person, than can we see that too? It might be hot in his own way... :wub:

[Mara=^.^=]

Carl is NOT a hunk hahaha. I was going to draw him when he actually appeared in the story, but maybe I can draw him sooner? To tell you the truth I haven't developed his character too much yet, so maybe I should give him a try.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[loopin]

YES MARA, I DOTH AGREE WITH MY CARL-FANGIRL BRETHREN.

[AnDrEa]

yay! can't wait to see him in your style!


o:) Andre o:)

[Flank]

Carl is NOT a hunk hahaha.

Apparently, you can make anyone look good in your drawings.


Technical stuff.

I really enjoy the technical side in this fanfic. It was done with thinking and knowledge and it makes the story more reach. It's not some cheap unrealistic stuff like Star Wars with their whizzing flashy laser beams. Even when you Mara are not a specialist on space warfare, you don't put in crud, I appreciate it too. It's grreat to find details like teleporting bombs, or Aurora's suit manipulating energy, or black holes in mines, I'll discuss it with pleasure. May be I will even be able to add something to TOSOT. :P Where did you get this stuff, btw?

Now, some my remarks.

Aurora mentions aluminum sulfate ore which costs a lot, but actually this mineral is very common and cheap (it consists of common aluminum and sulfur) and has rather not medical applications. I'd suggest you to use something like sodium rhodanate instead.

Three suns made me think a little about it. Usually, star systems have two stars, or sometimes one, like ours. A system with three stars must be more rare, but it's quite possible that such systems exist too. But is the sunrise eternal? Usually stars are near each other, so even if in a system are two or three stars it just makes a day a bit longer. To get an eternal sunrise we must have a planet surrounded by three stars, what is hardly possible, because orbits would be too unstable to exist for a long time. But, after some thinking, I came to an idea that in such system could be one big star, like ours, or even many times bigger, and several small stars, just a several dozens of times bigger than our Jupiter, orbiting around the big star like planets. It must be rare, but it's possible. Then a planet orbiting among those stars must have only day at least most time of a year.