4674 replies to this topic

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Oh, YEAH!! No DUH!! *facesmack*

[Mara=^.^=]

Chapter 42 is also done, but I won't be posting it till next week. Gotta have something to look forward to, right?



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[RocksmySocks]

Alas, poor Future Goddard. I remember years back when I first joined and one of the first (if not THE first) thing I asked about in the TOSOT question topic was where the heck Future Goddard was.

I got the feeling then that you actually had no idea yourself, Mara, lol. But I knew deep down that Future Goddard had either already met a horrible end or was going to at some point in the story if you chose to include him.

[Mara=^.^=]

I don't want to post TOO much yet, because people might accidentally see this post before they read your update!

Just post it in [ spoiler ] tags!
(that goes for anyone who wants to post a more specific response without accidentally ruining the chapter for others)


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[sonicjet]

Erm...Mara...I think Star Trek is getting to you, and I love it. (I almost heard the orders being spoken by Picard)

Spoiler

Love what you did with the storyline, the Half Life was a Chekhov's gun of sorts that really needed to be piloted by Aurora,saw that coming, I do like it though.

[curiochibi]

Madamoiselle Mara, you have a gift. A gift for managing to make me feel

and

not to mention and

all within the confines of a single chapter.


In short,

Well done.


=Jessi=

[Mara=^.^=]

Erm...Mara...I think Star Trek is getting to you, and I love it.

How so? I've never actually seen Star Trek (except the new movie).


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

April is a sorely underdeveloped character. I see nothing to her personality beyond her love of fighting and weapons, and her sudden freak out at the end when Nav died had no foreshadowing and I really can't imagine her character acting that way. Then again, we really didn't have much to go on, so who knows.

Ironically, I had this planned WAAAAAY back when, when I was still on volume 3. In fact, I wrote the entire April/Aurora fight sequence two years ago. I was hoping that this freak-out would be the character development which, I agree, is a bit lacking with April. Maybe I failed epically in pulling that off. **shrugs**

The Aurora-losing-20-years thing was totally last minute. I literally threw that in there like a month ago, because I felt like she still hadn't sacrificed enough during the fight. I'd planned Future Goddard's role since a few months after Katie initially asked me where he was, but I ended up changing my angle on his death during a revision. I originally planned to actually show his death and focus on the tragedy of saying goodbye to your pet, but unfortunately we saw and heard so little of Future Goddard before his demise that I was having a really hard time writing something that would make the viewer actually feel bad. So, instead, I decided to pursue a different viewpoint - Jimmy's. I wanted to reflect the tragedy of Goddard's death in his reaction, not in the actual event itself. I also wanted Jimmy to experience the guilt and misery that comes with hurting someone through love. I don't feel like this is thematically explored enough in the show.

Anyway, this turned into a long rant, but now you know

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Thore]

I am usually not at a loss for words (usually I have to cut down post sizes) but I really can't think of much to say.

While not perfect TOSOT is one of the best written fanfics I have ever read.

PS
I totally agree the show does not go deep enough in aspects such as how our actions affect others.

[okmeamithinknow]

Ironically, I had this planned WAAAAAY back when, when I was still on volume 3. In fact, I wrote the entire April/Aurora fight sequence two years ago. I was hoping that this freak-out would be the character development which, I agree, is a bit lacking with April. Maybe I failed epically in pulling that off. **shrugs**

I disagree about you epically failing. I have had a very hard time liking April's character because she's so hard for me to relate to (Ironic since I'm all for everyone dying at the end I know). Throughout the story she's been a trigger happy war mongerer who just happens to be engaged to the awesomest thief in the galaxy. To me, she was forgettable and only should be there to introduce Nav's character.

But her freak-out over Nav's death, and the scene between her and Nav in his final moments made her so much more relate-able for me. I really feel for her.



~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

But her freak-out over Nav's death, and the scene between her and Nav in his final moments made her so much more relate-able for me. I really feel for her.

Throughout most of the story, I don't really think the reader gets a good sense of how April feels about her relationship to Nav and Aurora. She seems to be blithely unaware that there is any tension in the group, and she rarely expresses what you would normally think of as "romantic" sentiments. She is, as you said, a seemingly straightforward military junkie who is the only one in TOSOT to have not truly suffered thanks to DJ's actions. If anything, the war has made things better for her.

In breaking down her facade at the end, I wanted to show that there actually IS a lot more going on beneath the surface. I wanted her to feel anger at Nav because of their cultural differences (Gorlock tradition affords honor and glory to death in battle. Nav deprived her of this - he even says "I’m sorry, honey. I guess in the end, I’m just selfish after all." He was referring to the fact that he knew damn well that she would have rather died with him, but couldn't let her do it).

Most importantly, I wanted to show that April was always aware of Nav's feelings for Aurora, and that this was and is a source of secret resentment. I mean, Cindy and Aurora are in competition for Jimmy's affection in WLK, so I figured why not continue that sort of situation in the future, with Nav? I think it is clear to the reader that Nav actually loves BOTH of them, but you can definitely sympathize with April's point of view.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

Also, I adored the J/C moment there! Cindy was just so SWEET to him right there!

That was intended to be sort of ironic, since they're saying one thing but doing another (saying they don't want to love while basically feeling each other up). I'm actually bummed that this came across as being "sweet", since I wanted it to be more bittersweet. I wanted to show the distance that two people can put between each other, even when openly embracing. It's cute that they're hugging, but sad that they still view their feelings for each other as an undesirable liability.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Lizz]

Hey Mara! I did read the chapter the day you posted it, but I had to wait a day until I pulled myself to together to comment it (that I’ll explain later). I was pretty blown away by this chapter after all the action, I knew it was drama and sadness now.

I thought this chapter was perfect for the aftermath battle. The kids finally interacting with Future Sheen was nice. I almost went BSOD when they thought Aurora was dead (though I kinda saw it coming). But was relieved she came to. Now I’m not sure what to expect after she said the capability her suit has.
I also liked the part where April comes in and tries to kill DJ to avenge Nav; and the spat she had with Aurora about it. I admittedly grinned when she knocked April out. Nothing I wouldn’t expect from someone like Aurora.

I love the part where Jimmy meets Future Goddard, and the little conversation he had with him. I was anxious when reading Jimmy worry if he wouldn’t succeed in saving Goddard, and Future Carl telling him to just try and not worry about guilt if he fails. It was wonderfully realistic. But…I wasn’t prepared for this…

(I don’t know how to make Spoiler Tags, so I’m just gonna type it all out. I advise anyone reading this who hasn’t read the chapter yet to just simply skip over it if you don’t want spoilers.)

This part when they’re on the Half Life really got to me. While reading Jimmy apologizing to Goddard all tearful, I pictured the scene all too well in my head, even the part when he explains to Cindy what had happened. I’ll ADMIT it…this is THE FIRST TIME TOSOT HAS MADE ME CRY! (And the second fic I’ve ever read that made me cry!) I am ashamed to say that even past moments in the story that were supposed to make me cry, didn’t make me even shed a tear. I didn’t cry when Nav died, I didn’t cry when Aurora explained the circumstances of the universe, I didn’t cry when April threw a hissy fit over Nav’s death, I admittedly ALMOST cried when I thought Aurora had died earlier; Heck, I didn’t even shed a tear at the part where Aurora broke down in front of Future Libby! Yes, it sounds like I have a heart made of stone, and apparently the death of an awesome character like Nav or Aurora’s tears of misery can’t get to me, but the death of a robot dog can. It got to me so much that after I finished reading the chapter, my mom asked why I looked so depressed (I simply told her I had just read a very depressing novel LOL). But jokes aside, the dialogue between Jimmy and Cindy was beautiful nonetheless.

As for the last part, all I have to say is… “You tell that old bat, Aurora!” But she’s calling Eustace, so I don’t know whether to laugh of be worried. I don’t know how many chapters are left, but I anxiously wait to see what happens next; especially when DJ awakens after the use after the antidote. Will he have become a pansy or is he still just as badass as ever?

[sonicjet]

Personally, I would love to see DJ lose it or find someone to blame for the difference in the timeline, we still don't know why Jimmy was at the party with quinlin.

[Mara=^.^=]

Wow, thanks so much for the epic response, Lizz!

This part when they’re on the Half Life really got to me. While reading Jimmy apologizing to Goddard all tearful, I pictured the scene all too well in my head, even the part when he explains to Cindy what had happened. I’ll ADMIT it…this is THE FIRST TIME TOSOT HAS MADE ME CRY!

And here I thought that part wasn't sad enough! I'm glad to see that people are emotionally affected by different things in TOSOT

As for the last part, all I have to say is… “You tell that old bat, Aurora!”

LOL, that's totally how I felt when writing it. I also greatly amused myself with Aurora's "How's this for motivation: figure it out, or I'll shoot you!" How very Soviet of you, Aurora


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[okmeamithinknow]

Throughout most of the story, I don't really think the reader gets a good sense of how April feels about her relationship to Nav and Aurora. She seems to be blithely unaware that there is any tension in the group, and she rarely expresses what you would normally think of as "romantic" sentiments. She is, as you said, a seemingly straightforward military junkie who is the only one in TOSOT to have not truly suffered thanks to DJ's actions. If anything, the war has made things better for her.

In breaking down her facade at the end, I wanted to show that there actually IS a lot more going on beneath the surface. I wanted her to feel anger at Nav because of their cultural differences (Gorlock tradition affords honor and glory to death in battle. Nav deprived her of this - he even says "I’m sorry, honey. I guess in the end, I’m just selfish after all." He was referring to the fact that he knew damn well that she would have rather died with him, but couldn't let her do it).

Most importantly, I wanted to show that April was always aware of Nav's feelings for Aurora, and that this was and is a source of secret resentment. I mean, Cindy and Aurora are in competition for Jimmy's affection in WLK, so I figured why not continue that sort of situation in the future, with Nav? I think it is clear to the reader that Nav actually loves BOTH of them, but you can definitely sympathize with April's point of view.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

I definitely got all of that.

That was intended to be sort of ironic, since they're saying one thing but doing another (saying they don't want to love while basically feeling each other up). I'm actually bummed that this came across as being "sweet", since I wanted it to be more bittersweet. I wanted to show the distance that two people can put between each other, even when openly embracing. It's cute that they're hugging, but sad that they still view their feelings for each other as an undesirable liability.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

I got the irony and definitely agree that it was not at all sweet. Yes they were hugging but the dialog stands in quite a contrast to that. Hugging does not exactly equate to a perfect JC moment. Frankly I think the cliched reveal of the depth of their feelings wouldn't work as far as TOSOT is now and if it were forced, would ruin it and I would completely ignore it like it never happened.

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

I got the irony and definitely agree that it was not at all sweet. Yes they were hugging but the dialog stands in quite a contrast to that. Hugging does not exactly equate to a perfect JC moment. Frankly I think the cliched reveal of the depth of their feelings wouldn't work as far as TOSOT is now and if it were forced, would ruin it and I would completely ignore it like it never happened

Ya, haha, good luck getting any resolution on the J/C front

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Lizz]

Wow, thanks so much for the epic response, Lizz!



And here I thought that part wasn't sad enough! I'm glad to see that people are emotionally affected by different things in TOSOT



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

No problem, Mara. Seriously, I think this chapter may be my new favorite one. I think I have a whole new respect for Goddard (not that I ever disliked him of course) But I think I now see the attachment he has with Jimmy other than it being just "a boy and his dog" thing. The emotion Jimmy would feel if he ever lost him was just to powerful to ignore, made even sadder that we never see it, except through Jimmy's words. But from what he said, he inadvertadly killed Future Goddard while trying to save him, but it was his love that really freed him from his torturous imprisonment yet Jimmy was still upset about it I think that's what really got to me.

Sorry, if I sound corny, but I had to get it off my chest. Goddard Rules!

[Mara=^.^=]

Sorry, if I sound corny, but I had to get it off my chest. Goddard Rules!

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

The new chapter is now available on the mainsite: http://www.idreamofj...fanfics/41.html


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =