4674 replies to this topic

[Mara=^.^=]

beta-taped?

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[okmeamithinknow]

Betta-fish-ed?

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

ok this is becoming painful

[Mara=^.^=]

Should have the next chapter up by tonight!

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =
P.S. Happy graduation Anita!

[Anita]

Thank you, Mara!

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I'll most definitely read it within the next 24 hours!!!!! *fangirl squeal*

Crys, you wanted them ALL to die, didn't you??

[okmeamithinknow]

Crys, you wanted them ALL to die, didn't you??

It's not a happy ending unless everyone dies. Ok maybe you could save one person, but then my vote is DJ, not PJ.

~Crys~

[Lizz]

I keep having this feeling that either DJ or Aurora will die. And either on of them or...dare I say it...BOTH will pull a heroic sacrifice.

Man, I am just afraid I'll end up being right. But I hope I get gloating rights (combined with tears) if I am.

[curiochibi]

It's not a happy ending unless everyone dies.
~Crys~

I still say the idea of everyone stripping down to their birthday suits is the best ending ever.

Alex, that idea is pure gold xD



=Jessi=

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Jessi, that is SO choice!! XDDDDDD

Crys, why and HOW in the universe is "everyone dies" a HAPPY ENDING?!

[okmeamithinknow]

In my happy universe every one dies. the end.

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

Man, I swear, everyone blubs in this installment What a bunch of sissies! Hopefully you'll take the events of this chapter a bit more stoically than the characters do.

Onward!

Chapter 41: Fallout

______

So much melodrama

Spoiler

So were you surprised that Lady Jaya came back in? How about Future Goddard dying? And Aurora just lost 20 years off her life. Thoughts appreciated!

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Katia11]

LOVE!!!!! I love you, Mara. Hmm.. gush fest over now.

Beautiful as always. Hmmm.. you just made my night!

[underwater]

I finally got around to catching all the way up on this. Considering how incredibly popular this story seems to be, I had high expectations. It was good, so don't get the wrong idea from this review. I am just really really critical and harsh in my reviews. Okay, here we go.

The whole alternate universe thing is so over-used in general, but this was a refreshing take on it, mostly because the author did do a good job of tying the plot line into the show. I could honestly believe that it was something that would have happened in the real show, or at least I could have believed that up until the last volume cause of the light swearing and violence.

Aurora was an interesting main character, but I felt like the whole story’s feminist angle was ruined by her fight with DJ, where she just completely falls to pieces. I mean, what the heck? To be honest, Aurora wasn’t even the one who came up with the antidote plan, nor was she the one to cure Dictator Jimmy (technically). So I’m not even sure what she even does except get her butt kicked at the end and then turn on her friends to protect the jerk who did horrible things. Some heroine.

My real issue isn't with Aurora though, it’s with April and Future Libby. April is a sorely underdeveloped character. I see nothing to her personality beyond her love of fighting and weapons, and her sudden freak out at the end when Nav died had no foreshadowing and I really can't imagine her character acting that way. Then again, we really didn't have much to go on, so who knows. Future Libby - Why is she so good at everything? And yet this is contradicted by the scenes where she is a useless damsel in distress who needs to be saved by Aurora or Future Sheen. Her girly-girlness in general was just a tad annoying.
Next is Future Sheen, who really makes no sense as a future version of Sheen – even if he HAS been tortured. He doesn’t seem like himself at all. Not to mention that the whole FutureSheen/FutureLibby romance really puts me off. I guess it just seems like a blatant “Beauty and the Beast” rip-off to me. Except, I suppose, that the Beast doesn't want to eat Belle lol. Either way, I thought it was way too convenient the way their relationship just fell into place.

Dictator Jimmy is a great villain, even though we don't meet him until practically the end of the story. It's hard to live up to that kind of hype. What's so creepy about him is how SANE he is. Normally you think of psychopathic killers as being insane, but he's actually saner than everyone else. My only problem with him is that I don't understand why he killed so many people and destroyed so many planets. I understand that he's basically on a power trip the whole time, but his exact motivations are never made clear. Is he conquering these planets to take their resources? Does he want slaves? Is he just really, really evil? Does he get off on hurting people?

Nav was one of those characters who steal the spotlight in every scene, which was good in a way because he was so memorable, but it was also distracting. He also seemed like another one of those "too perfect" characters. I mean, he’s a felon and a thief, but he’s all noble because he only does it for his precious baby sister? Still, I would like to see a story just about him, so that he could be developed more. I have no idea what Mara was thinking with April/Nav, but at least the awkwardness in their relationship was addressed in the story itself.

Lee was a really interesting character and it's a shame that he was really only defined by his relationship to April. I liked some of the other Gorlocks as well, but mostly I just felt like they were plot devices. Lady Jaya on the other hand just made all female leaders seem like a nasty, vengeful witches. That whole council chapter just dragged on and on and on anyway.

Mara did a great job of portraying the kids in this story, even though they were sometimes lost in the background. Jimmy was very well done, as was Cindy, but the writing for Carl was sub-par. It was like Mara had absolutely no idea what Carl should say, so she just randomly made up stuff to give him lines and fill space. Sheen was generally funny, but some of the stuff he said came off as being a little too advanced for someone like him. Libby was better than future Libby but still did not have enough flaws or character development.

In terms of writing style, this fan fiction was excellent. Solid spelling and grammar throughout -- much better than I could have done. Sometimes Mara’s favorite turns of phrase got to be a little bit overused, but in general everything sounded so cool that it didn't really matter. Some of the chapter names were pretty cool too, and ‘The Other Side of Tomorrow’ was a good title for this fan fiction. Oh, and did I mention that I really liked the illustrations? I can't do art at all, so they were really impressive.
Well, other than that, I don't really have much else to say. It was definitely better than most of the dribble you find out there on the Internet, but it's certainly not as perfect as all of you seem to make it out to be. Keep working Mara, I can tell someday will be a very good author.

Corinne

[RocksmySocks]

Lord of the Rings, nod, eh, Mara? Guess New Zealand rubbed off.

That being said, awesome update. I knew a lot of what was going to happen going into this, but the parts I didn't know were aptly surprising.

I don't want to post TOO much yet, because people might accidentally see this post before they read your update!

So I'll just say....pure awesome. And not narmy. Do not worry. Parts were downright beautiful. It's so difficult to wrap up an epic tale, but you're doing it magnificently.

[Mara=^.^=]

Lord of the Rings, nod, eh, Mara? Guess New Zealand rubbed off.

Wait, a Lord of the Rings reference? Where?


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[RocksmySocks]

Wait, a Lord of the Rings reference? Where?


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

FUTURE LIBBY: Don’t take her away from me again! You already stole her once, and it took me ten years to get her back. Don’t send her where I can’t follow, Jimmy! I don’t want to go back to being alone!

"Don't go where I can't follow!"

aka the point where anyone with a heart starts sobbing for Sam and Frodo.

[Mara=^.^=]

Oh yeah!

I haven't slept in 2 nights



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Poor Future Goddard... My heart, metaphorically speaking, went out to him after I read that.

Wow, Aurora knocking April unconscious?! Now I've seen everything...

Also, I adored the J/C moment there! Cindy was just so SWEET to him right there!

Whoa, I wonder what Lady Jaya's gonna have Strych do... Can't be good, considering he's a spoiled, rotten son of a-... Never mind...

Can't WAIT to find out what happens next, and LOL at Sheen when they were being teleported to the Half Life!! XD

Edit: Mara, you said you'd end one of the characters' lives, but which? Is it the one you've already taken away, Nav, or *gulp* DJ??? I'm UBER curious about this...

Edited by Emily, 15 December 2010 - 01:43 AM.

[Mara=^.^=]

Edit: Mara, you said you'd end one of the characters' lives, but which? Is it the one you've already taken away, Nav, or *gulp* DJ??? I'm UBER curious about this...

I was talking about Future Goddard, of course! He's a character, isn't he?



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =