4674 replies to this topic

[Beks]

YESH! TOSOT! I need a good boost after this trip to the docter AND the dentist.

[RocksmySocks]

DONE.

Mara, I love you.

I'm going to shut up before I spoil anything.

But never fear, IDOJers! I didn't have much editing to do, so she should be able to turn it around quickly! But feel free to blame me for any spelling errors or anything I missed. My brain wasn't functioning at full capacity, which I hope is understandable to you all once you read it.

[okmeamithinknow]

This totally makes my day... Just the thought of the next chapter makes me smile and then jump on my bed singing with a hair brush... Wow I think I need to get a life.

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

All set! Installment is up and ready to be read! http://www.idreamofj...TOSOTpart5.html

Incidentally, the new section is part of the chapter "Hearts Storm". It might be kind of difficult to find. When you open the page, just click Ctrl+F and paste in "another senseless killing" and it should bring you right to the start of the next section.

Enjoy!


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[XstarsandheartsX]

WARNING SPOILERS

Ohmigosh. That chapter was just so amazing that the word 'amazing' doesn't even describe how amazing it was.
If that makes sense.

First of all, that FL/FS scene was HAWT. forrealz. 'Nuff said.

And, oh, the kids in the love potion room. Oh, garsh, the perversion. That entire scene had me laughing. It had like, every possible couple you could make outta the gang.
A few of my favorite lines would have to be:

CINDY: Sometimes I spy on you across the street with my Mom’s binoculars.

Atleast she's not afraid to admit it.

SHEEN: Apple of my eye! Grapefruit of my hand! Miscellaneous fruit of my nether regions!

The 'miscellaneous fruit' part had me laughing so hard my aunt had to come check on me. Sheen/Cindy (at least in this story) is WIN.

SHEEN: (seductively) Hey there, big boy…

**Jimmy looks over, and his mouth falls open**

JIMMY: Sheen…you’re so tall…

SHEEN: And your nerdy little genius routine makes me so hot…

Mary is going to be very pleased.

Is it bad, though, that I can actually imagine them doing that?

SHEEN: Wait, Carl! I need you to bear my children!

This line was the one I laughed the hardest on. Oh, gosh, Sheen.

The fighting scene was hilarious, too. Every part.

Oh, and...

I’m youthfully rubicund and obstetrically capacious!

Yes, I did look up those words to see what they meant.

[taytay1994]

MARA YOU ARE AMAZING *bows*
The whole FS/FL bit was EPIC and everything with the kids being all insane was just freaking hilarious.

JIMMY: (dramatically) Before you, Cindy, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

**Immediately after the words leave his mouth, Jimmy’s face crinkles into an expression of disgusted disbelief**

JIMMY: Ugh!! What in the name of Carl Sagan was that? Who SAYS stuff like that?

*dies laughing*

You almost made me forget about Nav.

[Mara=^.^=]

You did get that that section was directly copied from Twilight? That's my own personal jab at SMeyer.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[caseyrox76]

*reads chapter*

*dies from hilarity*

I'll give a proper long review once my brain starts working again (and it's not 1:30 AM).

[sunnstar]

Haha, oh, Mara. The scene between Future Sheen and Future Libby was amazing, and even though DJ was barely in it, his role was great. The love potion room... ah... well, that was hilarious. "Girly parts?" Haha. Carl going after Jimmy the first time was INCREDIBLE, haha, even though it got a little disturbing once Libby started to kiss Cindy. XDD Anyway, nice job! How was that a jab at Stephanie Meyer, though?

PS. Except when Libby said "yee." That burned my soul. ):

[Mara=^.^=]

PS. Except when Libby said "yee." That burned my soul. ):

What do you mean? Do you think it was out of character? Should I change it?

[okmeamithinknow]

Pffft! That chapter was pure win and so worth the wait.

FS and FL! Oh man... I believe I nearly passed out from their amazing hotness. Now in my mind I'm like "Nav who? What?". *fans herself again just thinking about it* But all joking aside, I think it's so intensely adorable that he attributes his staying sane to her and thinking about the day they could be reunited. *grows misty eyed* He really loves her.

Seriously I have been looking so forward to the lust room That was brilliant! It had me in stitches the whole time. The second that Carl accosted Jimmy I nearly died laughing.

I agree with Aly about:

SHEEN: Apple of my eye! Grapefruit of my hand! Miscellaneous fruit of my nether regions!

Just thinking that in my head makes me snicker and smile. I'll probably be at work tomorrow and think about it and freak out my coworkers. You'll probably catch me quote it too.

You did get that that section was directly copied from Twilight? That's my own personal jab at SMeyer.

I was wondering about that....

Jimmy: This is so hideously out of character! It’s like we’re caught in the middle of some horrible fanfiction!

That is my absolute favorite line. I was taking a drink of my soda as I read that line and it came out my nose. It hurt so much, but I could have cared less at that moment. I love making random jabs at other authors and myself in the middle of stories.

Oh and when Jimmy gets all of their attention I love the way you put it especially:

Goddard sees a very inviting leg

That was hilarious too! I love love love love love it!

There's probably more that I wanted to write, but I eh, this is long enough. Maybe I'll think of it later.

Again, and I know you probably never get tired of hearing how awesome you are, but this was so amazingly brilliant that the words "amazingly brilliant" don't adequately do the job of describing it!!! Now I think I'll go read it for a third time!

*Skips off blithely, then realizes she's left the laptop behind and comes back for it.*

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

FS and FL! Oh man... I believe I nearly passed out from their amazing hotness.

Haha, ya, I was pretty darn impressed by how hot that sequence turned out as well. I'm gonna have a hard time getting my DJ/A to compare with that epic level of sexiness.

Again, and I know you probably never get tired of hearing how awesome you are, but this was so amazingly brilliant that the words "amazingly brilliant" don't adequately do the job of describing it!!!
~Crys~

Why yes, yes, you are right. It never gets old


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[sunnstar]

What do you mean? Do you think it was out of character? Should I change it?

The word "yee" in general, for the most part, is pretty lame to me, no offense... I thought it was SLIGHTLY out of character. I think that you portray her as a little "too black" (stereotype, that is) once in a while, if you don't mind me saying it. I mean, I see the JN-Libby saying, "yeah," but never "yee." Do whatever you want, lol. (:

[okmeamithinknow]

Haha, ya, I was pretty darn impressed by how hot that sequence turned out as well. I'm gonna have a hard time getting my DJ/A to compare with that epic level of sexiness.

Yeah, but DJ/A have their own level/branch/version of sexiness that's on it's own sexually frustrated plane.

~Crys~

[Mara=^.^=]

The word "yee" in general, for the most part, is pretty lame to me, no offense... I thought it was SLIGHTLY out of character. I think that you portray her as a little "too black" (stereotype, that is) once in a while, if you don't mind me saying it. I mean, I see the JN-Libby saying, "yeah," but never "yee." Do whatever you want, lol. (:

I meant for it to be a girly, damsel-in-distress kind of sound, not a "black girl" scream. I have no idea what a black girl scream would even sound like. LOL. But I did add it in at the last minute; maybe I should have given it more thought.

In regards to the "too black thing", on the show Libby is portrayed as the very stereotypical "sassy black woman". I don't necessarily like it, but I go along with it.



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Macey]

ILU MARA.

For those wondering, I actually helped Mara write the Lust room. It got kinda out of hand, so I'm sure she took some stuff out, but I remember most of it. (I'm surprised you took out Sheen flirting with Goddard though, you seemed to get a kick out of that)

And it's still EPIC. I'm loving the Miscellaneous fruit line (ROFL) and everything else Sheen does (Mary will SQUEE) and the overall perverted-ness. (Inviting leg LOL) Also, taking out one of Jimmy's lines from Twilight, then having him spit in disgust, was the best jab EVER.

AND THE NOSEBLEED. PFFFFT. I'm so glad something you normally do for laughs was played seriously with the kids. It was done so well.

AS FOR THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER. I cannot WAIT to see how Aurora reacts to this. She'll die inside. (Heroic BSOD anyone?) FL's reaction seemed a bit...I dunno...light. Then again she's only known them for awhile (well she met April when she was younger, but yeah) and she's trying to tell herself DJ is lying. Plus there's all the suspense going on. And the FS going on. *shot*

Seriously, I LOVED FS here. He's a ravenous little monster, ohohohoho. And when he isn't one...he acts like Sheen. Well, an older Sheen in this situation. He's perfect. And ravenous. In more than one way. *shot*

Can't wait until we see FC again for some reason. If Jessi and I's FC and FS-centric oneshots are canon (and I know part of Jessi's is) FC's gonna freak out a little when he sees FS got out. ("WHAT ARE YOU DOING JIMMY'S GONNA KILL YOU DD8") Plus he's already worried about FL and might be worried about Aurora now too.

AND THEN THERE'S LEE. He's gotta be doing something, right? xD You can't say much about him right now, but he's brave, I'll give him that.

So, in closing, AWESOME JOB MARA.

[RocksmySocks]

Oh good, now I can talk about it since people have read it.



I was beta-reading this in my room with Mikey, and I think he thought I was dying. I was laughing so hard that Mikey hid himself in a box and was peering out cautiously, to see if his mother had gone insane.

Everyone's already quoted a bunch of the hilarity, but this part

LIBBY: As if! Guys don’t care about that! They only care ‘bout how you look. And I think we all know who will be the prettiest when we grow up…

CINDY: Oh, don’t be so full of yourself! Your older self dresses like a skank!

LIBBY: Your older self IS a skank!

really undid me. I was already laughing insanely before that, but I think that little section drove me right off the edge. The straw that broke the camel's back. My favorite line, though, is in my signature.

Also, having Goddard play "Ice Ice Baby" was pure genius.


This part killed me as well:

SHEEN: Quick, somebody break out the stinky cheese! I refuse to be at the beck and call of merciless lady love! I can’t lose my freedom! I have my pride as a man to consider! I have…well, helloooo sweet thang…

I think mostly because I could totally see that happening.

And I felt so bad for Jimmy when Cindy was coming onto him. Poor kid was so flustered...good thing he wasn't a couple years older, or they'd have never even gotten past that point, much less move onto the brilliant Sheen/Jimmy moments.

Oh, and I totally didn't catch the Twilight section, cuz I've never read any part of Twilight. I was rolling my eyes at the sickening sweetness of it all, though, which is now even funnier to me knowing that it was actually from a book taking it seriously.



FL/FS section scared the heck out of me, haha. Not "scared" I guess, but unnerved. I just don't know what FS is going to do at any given moment. He's like the randomness of regular Sheen, but much deadlier. Really well written, though.



Overall, though, this part wins.

**A few minutes later, security systems around the base silently come back to life. Power levels rise, scanners reboot, and dormant patrol bots awaken. The life-signs detector comes back online as the surveillance equipment drinks deeply of its electrical elixir. Dictator Jimmy’s voice crackles over the newly re-activated the comm. link: one word uttered, then static**

DICTATOR: Aurora…

Complete and utter win. I have such herovillain-worship for DJ. Which I think goes far beyond his demonic possession of my soul.

[Beks]

Wow, this installement just made my day, maybe my week! That scene with FS/FL was soooo hawt and tied in perfectly with the love potion room.

Oh, speaking of that room....OMGROFLD! There are no words to describe how awesome and funny that was to me!

Of all the quotable quotes that should be quoted from this installment, my favorite is this one, for obvious reasons:

JIMMY: This is so hideously out of character! It’s like we’re caught in the middle of some horrible fanfiction! We’ve got to get out of here!

Oh, and anything said by Carl was HILARIOUS too.

[Mara=^.^=]

@Everyone: Macey's most brilliant contribution was the part about Goddard being "high maintenance". I LOVED that. And it works on two levels, since he's a robot.

@Macey: Wow, playing the nosebleed trope straight was completely unintentional. I didn't even think of the anime gag until you pointed that out. I meant it to be a legitimate psychosomatic reaction to extreme duress, haha.

@Katie: I love the work skank. It's so versatile

and yay, my FS characterization works. Unpredictability FTW :headbang:

@Beks: I figured it was about time I made fun of myself and other fanfic authors.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

I figured it was about time I made fun of myself and other fanfic authors.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

HEY!!!