4674 replies to this topic

[Mara=^.^=]

Ya, I write in a very fragmented way. It's kind of like connecting the dots.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[John Richards]

Funny, I write the opposite way, like a tree. I have a main plotline and everything else grows off of that.

[N!no]

OMG!!! OMG!!!
I read the last installment!!
IT WAS BEYOND AWESOME!!! Can't wait to read some more!!

No kidding! Sheen got free THAT easily?
He can pull a fight then! that's interesting ^^
oops but Aurora has no idea that Libby is all right with Sheen now.
hmmm now that I think about it...again .
This F Sheen & F Libby encounter hasn't been planned by DJ meticulously already? nah....yes...no...wait a minute. I don't know what to think anymore...MAra u're good...u're really good to have us wondering for the next chapter XD
nah I guess this will be a good surprise after all.

The other thing that astonished me was Sheen..sounding like...so mature. o.O but at the same time still the kid he was before ventilating in front of f. Libby ^^ cool!
Incredulous...but matches his age ^^ and the mix there sounds like a realistic f.Sheen.
I guess DJ didn't count on FS talking with sense to FL to make her believe he won't hurt her...
Geez...what a planner. He uses people's own feelings to fight 'em and even destroy them. Woah..that's very scary.

Oh and the kids' part. oh my! how creepy! Till now apparently DJ doesn't know about them trying to get to the control room.It seems he doesn't know about any of 'em at all...that's odd. He isn't two steps ahead then ^^

I have one question. It says that Goddard managed to damaged the wall on the last part... will that go unnoticed by the dictator??? Doesn't F. Carl monitor stuff and such?? Will he just shut up if he notices about the kids or f.Sheen and f.Libby??!!!! ***tears hair out of her head desperately ***

And what about the giggling,yelling and fighting?

Anyway, f Sheen escaped thanks to f Libby! so there's more hope! He can help the rest of people as he has such an amazing strength!
So is F Libby telling F Sheen that kids from an alternate universe are in there too including Jimmy?

Oh Yah...almost forgot...that part when DJ was talking with F Libby...
It looked like he didn't control himself for a moment and spluttered words on impulse... :blink:
" DICTATOR: Don’t even pretend for a second that you’re equal to Aurora. You’re nothing compared to her. Look at yourself…marching into battle wearing that get-up? Have you no sense of reality at all? "

The part where f Libby retorts " You creep! Don’t patronize me! Let go an’ fight me like a man! " made me laugh a lot, but it made me blink hard how DJ responds...so cold.
AAAH!! What about shall I tell you about " all the things I did to Aurora the last time she was here? "
Is there more we should now besides the One-shot of Aurora's capture?!!!

-_- I rest my case. I need therapy. Anywho.....

GREAT CHAPTER!!! Thank you very very much for the last installment ^^
:dance:

keep it up!!!

[Mara=^.^=]

No kidding! Sheen got free THAT easily?
He can pull a fight then! that's interesting ^^

Yup! :D

I guess DJ didn't count on FS talking with sense to FL to make her believe he won't hurt her...
Geez...what a planner. He uses people's own feelings to fight 'em and even destroy them. Woah..that's very scary.

I'm not sure that DJ knows that FS isn't a crazy raving killer...

Oh and the kids' part. oh my! how creepy! Till now apparently DJ doesn't know about them trying to get to the control room.It seems he doesn't know about any of 'em at all...that's odd. He isn't two steps ahead then ^^

Now that IS something he doesn't know...yet...

I have one question. It says that Goddard managed to damaged the wall on the last part... will that go unnoticed by the dictator???

That IS the question...

Oh Yah...almost forgot...that part when DJ was talking with F Libby...
It looked like he didn't control himself for a moment and spluttered words on impulse... :blink:
" DICTATOR: Don’t even pretend for a second that you’re equal to Aurora. You’re nothing compared to her. Look at yourself…marching into battle wearing that get-up? Have you no sense of reality at all?

Ya, that was supposed to be a momentary lapse in control. DJ sees Aurora as a level above the others.

Is there more we should know besides the One-shot of Aurora's capture?!!!

I'll leave that up to your imagination.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Kaz]

OMG! Just finished the new installment.

The emotion labyrinthe is an awesome idea! I was thinking along similar lines to Beks and wondering if they'll come across an emotion that'll embarrass Jimmy and Cindy. ^_^ Although I was also thinking it doesn't feel like the kinda emotion someone like DJ would include.

FS is so much win. He reminded me of a dog chasing it's tail once he got free. It made me smile.

I have a funny feeling Sheen's gonna be heartily impressed with his counter-part and express how cool he thinks it is in regular hyper fashion.



Oooooo........you teased! Now I waana know what happens next!

[Mara=^.^=]

:dance:

I was thinking along similar lines to Beks and wondering if they'll come across an emotion that'll embarrass Jimmy and Cindy.

Regardless, I think it might just be too hilarious to pass up...


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Kaz]

:dance:



Regardless, I think it might just be too hilarious to pass up...


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

XD

[Beks]

AHA!!! I KNEW IT!!!

right? :unsure: I'm not sure what's the truth when it comes to my imagination. :rolleyes:

[N!no]

I guess DJ didn't count on FS talking with sense to FL to make her believe he won't hurt her...

Geez...what a planner. He uses people's own feelings to fight 'em and even destroy them. Woah..that's very scary.

I'm not sure that DJ knows that FS isn't a crazy raving killer...

Geez I also thought on that!!!! When I thought about it, if DJ knew Sheen hadn't lost his mind he would not put Libby under any circumstance in there!
SO HE WAS PUTTING AN ACT!?
future Sheen.,,,
u're a genius

***faints***

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

O... M... F... G!!!!!!!!!! Mara, once again, you've TRULY outdone yourself! When I first started reading about FS, I thought DJ'd turned him into a KILLER! But, BOY, was I wrong!!! He's still his same old self, except genetically designed to be a super-warrior.

I'm sure, way, WAAAAAAAYYYYY deep down, the normal FJ (future Jimmy) is there somewhere, just LONGING to resurface and make things normal again. Didn't one of the other characters have a spare antidote?? I sure hope so, cuz the original Aurora had was shattered when she was sneaking into DJ's headquarters.

I think this line by Carl and Sheen and some others cracked me up the MOST:

JIMMY: (glancing back) April, your guns must be waterproof, right?

APRIL: Of course. They’re Gorlock weapons. On a planet with daily rainstorms and an average humidity of 99%, waterproof firearms are a necessity.

FUTURE LIBBY: (still pulling on her dress) I wish this outfit were waterproof! Oh, why did I wear this? The saltwater is ruining the fabric!

SHEEN: Weeeell, you could always take it off…

**Libby reaches out to smack Sheen, but the friction of the water renders the action ineffectual. He laughs and twirls around, tiny bubbles lodging in the folds of his orange suit before rising in a merry procession toward the surface**

SHEEN: Haha! You cannot hurt me! I am invincible! I am untouchable! I…eww! I just swam through a warm spot! Carl, that better not’ve been you!

**Carl’s cheeks color as he wobbles ungracefully through the water**

CARL: Sorry…I thought no one would notice…

SHEEN: Ah, man, this isn’t your own private toilet! I just breathed that in, dude!

**Nav sniggers, his eyelids crinkled with mischievous delight**

NAV: And thus we see that, no matter what the situation, bathroom humor continues to be funny…

CINDY: (muttering) For you, maybe…

OMFG!!!!!! That was TOO funny!!!! So CHOICE, Mara!!!!!!!! Truly... AWESOME!!!!!

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Like I said, this fic ROCKS!!! I just hope Jimmy finds a way to cure his future self and lead this fic to the happy ending we're ALL expecting! Am I right? I said, am I RIGHT??? ^_^

Off-topic: Haha, post 3,434!!! Neat numbers!!

Come ON, who DOESN'T enjoy bathroom humor?! That Carl and Sheen moment was TOO funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mara=^.^=]

**spazzes out upon reading Pigquet's reply**

Man, your response totally made my WHOLE day! Thanks Pig! :D You write the most wonderful, insightful, inspiring comments. I swear I was practically biting my nails just waiting to hear your take on the story ^_^

but I have to say my favorite of all wasy the depression room. Ask anyone, I keep saying it on AIM, I LOVED that part! Jimmy in the depression room was beyond funny. Something about the way emo/depressed people talk always cracks me up laugh.gif Wow! That was so so good! I swear, I kept reading that part over and over (definatly w/o a straight face, no matter how hard I tried)

LOOOL, to tell you the truth I laughed pretty hard when I went back and read that section too. I almost cut it out entirely, since I couldn't take it seriously, but then I decided that some comic relief would actually be a plus in the chapter.

I swear, I would love to go in that room, put on a video recorder, have someone pull myself out soon enough, then watch it back over and over just to laugh at myself! I just laugh so so hard at people who talk like that

Haha, the emo things they said were actually inspired by something that happens in the Thriller Bark arc of One Piece. Basically, there are these ghosts that make you incredibly depressed/emo/negative when they fly through you. All the guys like fell down and started saying stuff like "I'm never moving again" or "I wish I were a sea cucumber". It was hilarious.

I'm still trying to figure out what that fourth room actually is...I know, I'm probably really stupid, but what is it? Like paronia to leave your home? LOL Or comfort? IDK, just throwin' it out there, haha. I guess its around that, just hard to pin. But, it was funny as well, though they had the scenario figured out by then.

Ya, the idea behind that room is that you would never want to leave, and would therefore either not be able to get through the rest of the maze, or at least be very delayed in getting through.

I'm actually pretty disappointed in Libby. I know the way he is wasn't what she expected and might have scared her, but if she really loved him shouldn't she be able to not care how he looks or what DJ said? Its not like its his fault. And he's STILL thinking of her. After the sacrifice he made 10 years ago, and all he'd been through, and he's still being gentle with her, she should be a little nicer and trust him more.

I agree - to an extent. When I was first editing this chapter, I felt a bit scornful of F. Libby. I was like, dude, you just got owned. WTH? And I'll admit that F.L's reaction toward Sheen seemed a bit shallow - at first glance.
Remember, you need to keep in mind that Future Libby has never had any battle experience before. For her, this has been an extremely traumatizing day. She's exhausted, scared out of her wits, and completely out of her element. Not to mention that she just got seriously BURNED by a psychopath who is threatening to kill all her friends. Frankly, if I were in her situation, I think I'd be pretty freaked out. I mean, she's LOCKED in a dungeon cell in the PITCH black with a guy who's been genetically altered...even if Sheen's words were gentle, the situation was NOT conducive to clear-thinking.
Besides, it makes sense that F. Libby would be the weakest player in this section. She already had her shining moment - think back to the chapter "Tears of Rain", where she's definitely the stronger character. -shrugs- We all have our weaknesses. All things considered, I'd say she's doing pretty well.

What'd she do that for? That coulda been a really sweet moment! Haha. I mean, I know they had to get going, but she did seem kinda uncomfortable. I'm shocked. Didn't she want to see him? Its why she dolled up and all that. Maybe it'll just take her time,b ut I don't get it. Harsh *shakes head*

This will be elaborated upon more in the next chapter ;)



Thanks so much for your review Pigquet! I can write the next installment in peace now!

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[oreocookieclouds]

It's a really great installment. It really kept me at the edge of my seat. I can't wait for the next installment. *sits down, smiles, and patiently waits*

[RocksmySocks]

Dude, this made coming home from vacation worth it.

Emotion rooms?

DJ is so totally monitoring those.

He knows that fighting people through their emotions is highly successful. What better way then to have your adversaries demonstrate which emotional weaknesses they have as they enter your lair?

Though with the kids, he wouldn't have even needed that, since he knows them all already. But so far, he hasn't demonstrated any knowledge that the kids have been brought to this universe, so...yeah.

Oh, and as far as a "love room", I don't see why DJ wouldn't have one of those. If he's monitoring them, it would be useful to see who has emotional connections to who.

I wonder if he has a set of physical challenge rooms as well, or if he's confident enough that he doesn't need those.

I got super excited when I saw FS's pic at the beginning of the chapter. And dude, FS is AWESOME!

But I worry for both him and FL. DJ wouldn't have put them together for nothing, and DJ would not have completely miscalculated FS's monsterness. Somehow, he wanted them to escape...I'm willing to bet there is more to FS then we have seen. Maybe some sort of control DJ has over him? Or triggers that DJ knows that will bring out a wilder side...

In any case, I worry.


As for DJ himself - totally badass. He has nearly the best lines of the whole chapter. Just perfect. Megalomanium makes the best super villains.

But my favorite line has to go to Carl.

CARL: I want my Mommy! And some Prozac!

[Mara=^.^=]

:o CRAP you know me too well, Katie! ;) I have been toying around with several of those ideas - we'll see which ones make the cut.

But my favorite line has to go to Carl.

LOOOL, that's funny. I was actually thinking of you when I wrote that line. I was like, "I bet Katie will laugh at that one".


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =
P.S. Hope you enjoyed your vacation! ^_^

[RocksmySocks]

:o CRAP you know me too well, Katie! ;) I have been toying around with several of those ideas - we'll see which ones make the cut.

You forget I have a distinct advantage, there. I am DJ, so it isn't so hard for me to predict your written version of DJ's methods and motives. :P

LOOOL, that's funny. I was actually thinking of you when I wrote that line. I was like, "I bet Katie will laugh at that one".

Haha, maybe it is you who knows ME too well. :D


-Katie :ahoy:

Oh, and I did enjoy my vacation! We went to the San Diego Zoo!!!!!!! *dream come true*

[Mara=^.^=]

-tries to outthink DJ-
-realizes that DJ is my own character, and he can therefore only think of things I think of-
-concludes that it is a hopeless endeavor-
-goes to eat dinner-



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[RocksmySocks]

-tries to outthink DJ-
-realizes that DJ is my own character, and he can therefore only think of things I think of-
-concludes that it is a hopeless endeavor-
-goes to eat dinner-



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

It is hopeless. Just about as hopeless as me ever understanding how you can write me and I can be me at the same time. :wacko:

Being DJ is confusing...

*goes to eat dinner chocolate*

[sunnstar]

OH MY GOOD GOLLY GOSH. Mara, that was just amazing. Your writing has become, like, the JKR of all fanfiction. Officially. I 95% loved this chapter and 5% despised it because I was so scared of Future Sheen lying and thinking that, as soon as he was free, he would tear Libby to shreds... but I hated it in a good way.. :P An omg-what's-gunna-happen-I'm-so-scared way. I agree with Katie, I think something worse is going to happen and he wouldn't completely mistake FS's programming (or whatever it is).

I was expecting/hoping to see a Love Room, too... ah well. One question: there was a reason for who was affected by which emotion, wasn't there? If so, can someone please explain it to me? I'm a little lost with the whole character-personality-type thing. Why was Cindy unaffected (or at least the least affected) by the sadness? I'd think she'd be MOST affected. Okay, the late time and my extreme stupidity is confusing me way too much. Anyway, I really can't wait for an update now.

Awesome job, Mara!!~

[Mara=^.^=]

As far as the emotion rooms go, they are all equally affected. It's just that some are able to fight it off more than others - since Cindy's rather prone to this, it's easier to fight off the effects (unless they relate to fighting). Jimmy's logical side helps him out (he was able to tell that he was being controlled in the anger room, for example, but couldn't stop it), but certainly doesn't render him immune.

Really, there isn't that much rhyme-or-reason to it. It's less about character development and more about DJ's base being INSANE.


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =