Liveblogging Uta no☆Prince-sama♪ Maji Love 2000%
Episode CAT MAN
0:00 - Uh-oh...my whisker-senses, they are a-tingling! 
That can only mean one thing...CAT MAN'S FINALLY GETTING HIS OWN EPISODE!
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz This calls for some music to set the mood, in lieu of our regularly scheduled theme song:
♫♩ Stray cat strut, well I'm a ladies cat
I'm a feline Casanova, hey! Babe that's that
Get a shoe thrown at me from a mean old man
Get my dinner from a garbage caaaaaaaaaan....
*GUITAR SOLO* ♫♬ ♪
0:05 - All my homework is blowing away in the wind
Huh you think I'd be more upset
0:18 - Now I'm being submerged in hallucinogenic pond water Man today really isn't my day
2:03 - "I've been meaning to thank you"...WITH MAH BODEH 
2:29 - "I wanted to touch you" ... PERMISSION GRANTED, COMMANDER
But seriously this dream I'm having is starting to feel like the intro to an amateur porno
♫♩ Hands, touchin' hands... Reachin' out, touchin' me... touchin' youuuu! Sweeeeeet Caroliiiiiine ♫♬ ♪
2:40 - DAMMIT I WOKE UP RIGHT BEFORE THE GOOD PART WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN
4:04 - The headmaster's sunglasses are picking up a transmission from outer space
Quick somebody call SETI
4:41 - So apparently I'm the "only girl in the entire dorm". My hypothesis about sex discrimination in the music industry has been confirmed.
5:07 - Boy I sure love wandering around random fields, replaying that porno dream in my head................I wonder where Cat Man bought those hella fine bracelets I have got to get me some of those
5:45 - And suddenly, Cat Man is in a tree, singing loudly enough for the entire campus to hear
5:55 - Wow Nature is pulling out all the stops to make this scene look glorious
Like seriously trees are shedding leaves the sun is twinkling and the wind is tossing his hair like a Pantene Pro-V commercial
7:10 - Holy shit look at him swing through the treetops Even Tarzan would be jealous of that freakish monkey-like agility
7:18 - Aww, he put on a shirt? What a ripoff Get it? Cause I will rip off the shirt hurrhurr I am so clever
7:25 - Oooh I know
I'll pretend to trip over my own feet so that he can catch me romantically Oh yes that is a terrific idea I am such an innovator
8:00 - GAH COCKBLOCKED BY MY MANSQUAD
9:03 - He's a Prince from "The Land of Music"? I call bullshit, anime, show me "Land of Music" on an atlas
9:43 - So...we're not going to discuss how he broke the spell that turned him into a cat in the first place? Whatever man the dude sings about 'reincarnated love' who needs logic for shit like that
10:57 - Wow Cat Man is psycho-analyzing my man army and spouting their fortunes at a Miss Cleo level
11:33: - "You hide a massive feeling on the verge of exploding within yourself"
Um, you sure that's how you want to word that statement
12:46 - Wow, anime, way to undermine THE ONLY DECISION I EVER MADE IN THE WHOLE SERIES and give all the credit to Cat Man
I am the Protagonist, dammit, I DEMAND credit for my actions! I demand a stronger presence in this show! I demand tea and crumpets and constant praise, and I expect you all to objectify yourself for my amusement! Y'hear me, anime? Fork over the good stuff, or I will go on strike! 
13:29 - So, latest bullshit "plot" development: apparently I'm blessed by the goddess of music or something, and Cat Man's family has been serving the goddess for generations. .........which I guess makes him my personal manslave. I can live with that
13:49 - Boy, Cat Man, you sure are coming on strong, openly declaring your love for me in front of 6 other guys who are also in love with me
Sigh...It seems like just yesterday I was changing your litterbox and waking up to your rough tongue on my face...though in retrospect it all seems a bit awkward now that I know you were a bewitched prince the entire time
14:00 - Wait a minute...
14:04 - Cat Man was living in my room for a YEAR
Which means he undoubtedly saw me undress like, 100 times
I probably picked my nose in front of him
And oh GOD
There were at least two or three times he rubbed up against my leg while I was sitting on the can
HOW CAN I LIVE WITH THE SHAME OF THIS? HOW CAN I LOOK HIM IN THE EYES?
Oh wait I totally witnessed him licking his own butthole I guess we're even in terms of embarrassment
Phew
14:16 - And suddenly, out of nowhere, it starts snowing indoors
That can only mean one thing...my favorite of the "Pioneering Princes", Frosty the Gayman, is entering the episode! This really has to be seen to be believed:
15:14 - FROSTY: You will respect me and study show business. Understood?!
CAT MAN: No.
17:14 - Frosty, you asshole, do not address me as "Woman". I thought Cat Man made it clear that I am a goddess. Show me proper respect or I will snap off your mancicle and use it as a conducting baton
18:29 - LOL the anime is making fun of Cat Man for being a socially awkward spaz who is unable to read Japanese. I don't get the joke because I, too, am a socially awkward spaz who is unable to read Japanese.
We really are perfect for each other
20:09 - Wait, so Cat Man's afraid of water because he's from a desert culture, and not because he used to be a cat? That is TRIPLE bullshit, anime! In desert cultures water isn't feared, it's venerated for being precious
You writers really need to get your heads out of your collective ass
20:22 - "What a ridiculous day"... you said it, Barrettes
20:31 - Oh Cat Man, always falling asleep on random furniture, just like a real cat
21:43 - Leave me alone, Cat Man, I'm busy writi- well, I'll be damned. You even look good in a track suit
22:00 - Aww shit, Frosty told you about the "no romance" rule, and now you're duty bound to honor it?
This sucks I'M OUT
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*Preceding images brought to you by The Council For More Firecrotch Screentime
~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =
That headmaster. As awesome as you said. 
