704 replies to this topic

[Katia11]

maybe it is better this way...

[Mara=^.^=]

Hey, you good for another beta read?

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Katia11]

anytime dear. you know I'll do anything for you...

*SINGS*

I'd do anything for you dear, anything for you mean everythimgggg toooo meeeeeeeeee...

[Mara=^.^=]

anytime dear. you know I'll do anything for you...

Oh reeeeallllyyyy? Anything, you say?




~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Katia11]

*RUNS AWAY* I TAKE IT BACK!! lol. :-)

[Ang]

clearly the sexiest chapter of a fanfic ever. c:
IF YOU SHARE BREAKFAST, IT IS MEANT TO BE
/roar

I really loved this chapter! I can't wait to see what kind of stuff Tex and Sheriff get themselves into. Although I have an odd feeling Tex will be saving Sheriff's behind~

/sits in wait
I am now content.

[Mara=^.^=]

clearly the sexiest chapter of a fanfic ever. c:
IF YOU SHARE BREAKFAST, IT IS MEANT TO BE

PREACH IT, SISTER



~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

Well, I hope you guys like colorful language , 'cause there's plenty of it in Part 7... which could just as easily be titled "Tex and the Sheriff both try to do something nice for the other, and then both get pissed off about it."

Also...all you people who read this story and don't comment...I KNOW WHO YOU ARE and I know where you live


******************************************************************************************************

They rode into town amid a cloud of kicked-up dust. The Sheriff had trained Goddard to sit behind him in the saddle, and the dog panted happily as the horse galloped, ears flapping in the wind. Tex frowned. When charging into danger, it was best to look as intimidating as possible, and the sight of a goofy, drooling dog was likely to inspire laughter, not fear.

 

Once they reached the square, however, Tex began to understand the Sheriff's lack of caution. It wasn't a proper brawl at all, merely a belligerent man yelling insults at another fellow across the street. Still, just to be safe, Tex drew both guns as she dismounted. She approached the shouting man and found him to be squat, unkempt, and ugly, with a bulbous jaw and hair that hung over his eyes. He clutched a near-empty jug of Flurp in one fist, and there were purple stains all up and down his striped shirt. The target of his jeers was another story altogether: a story that began with 'tall', continued with 'tan', and ended with 'exceptionally, fantastically good-looking'.

 

“Get back here, Injun Nick, y'hear me?” yelled the squat man. “Yer dumber 'n a rocks of box...pox of...” His face reddened from the exertion of trying to form a coherent sentence. “Box a rocks! I said it before, Ninjun...Injun Nick, an' I'm a...ssshay it again: this town ain't big enough fer the two of us!”

 

Injun Nick affected amused indifference. He pulled a cigar from his buckskin jacket and popped it into his mouth, then proceeded to chew on it, unlit, as though it were a stick of candy.

 

The Sheriff threw up his hands as he dismounted. “Really Butch? Again? How many times do you plan on disturbing the peace? So help me, there will be consequences if you keep this up.”

 

Butch stumbled around to face him. “What're you on 'bout? Jim-Jam-Jimmy? Yyyy'know, I used to beat the tar outta dandies like you when I weren't only THIS high!” The drunk swung up an arm to indicate a child's height, and he nearly pitched backward in the process. “Tha's howsiss...how izz..how...”

 

“Hang it all, Butch, it's 9 o'clock in the morning! What is the matter with you?”

 

“Well, if you want my professional opinion,” remarked Tex, “I'd say he's three sheets to the wind, Sheriff.”

 

He gave her a withering look. “Yeah, no kidding. I'm asking him why he feels the need to be this inebriated before the midday mark!”

 

Butch's observational skills must have been operating on a delay, because he suddenly gaped up at Tex. “Wait just a damned minute, isssss'at a lady?” He lifted his hair out of his eyes to get a better look. “...It is a lady! Well I'll be a son of a! I didn't know you'd gone 'n got yerself a hanger-on-er, Sheriff. Dad-blasted…how come I'm the only man in this whole damned...this whole damned town who can't get hisself a woman?” He pointed a calloused finger up at Goddard, who still sat in the saddle. “You let your doggone...dog...you let him ride in yer pillion, but you still get a woman, an' I don't? It ain't fair! I wouldn’t piss on your teeth if your mouth was on fire!”

 

“Oh, that is charming, Butch. But she's not my woman. Think of her as...my deputy for the rest of the week. I'd watch your mouth around her, if you know what's good for you. She possesses a short temper and an itchy trigger finger.”

 

Tex gave both pistols a flashy twirl, but Butch had already turned back to Nick. “This is your fault! You take all the good ones...girlsh, every girl I set my eye on, you gotta come in an' steal her away. That's whatchyare, Nick...a thief. Thief thief thhhhhief. You think you're ten feet tall and bulletproof, but you're no better 'n me!”

 

Injun Nick tossed back a lock of raven hair. His voice, which was gravelly and disaffected, added to his suave demeanor. “I hate to break it to you, Butch, but you're ten pounds of ugly in a five pound bag. You're never gonna get a girl looking like that. So yeah, if you're wondering why Britney went for me last night instead of you, it's cause you look and smell like the northbound side of a southbound mule. Might wanna work on that, padre.”

 

Nick flipped up his jacket collar, re-positioned the cigar in his mouth, and headed off down the street. He walked with a pronounced limp, Tex noticed – a stark imperfection in his otherwise flawless appearance.

 

“Northbound side of a–!” spat Butch. “You! You gotta face like a bulldog lickin' wizz off a nettle! Come back here! I’ll beat you like a rented mule, you half-breed Comanche gimp!”

 

Nick stopped in his tracks. He hesitated for several seconds before strolling off again, and Tex knew that Butch's words had angered him. Nick tucked his hands into his pockets as he walked off, whistling lazily. This time, though, he camouflaged his limp with a swagger.

 

Butch continued hurling insults into thin air, and Tex scratched her chin in thought.

 

“If you're wondering about the limp,” said the Sheriff, answering Tex's unspoken question, “the origin story grows more spectacular with every retelling: grizzly bear attack, wrestled God, that sort of thing. Personally, I think he just broke his leg a bunch of times as a kid.”

 

Tex stared after his retreating figure. “Mmm, I see. A tall dark man with a mysterious wound. How...intriguing.”

 

The Sheriff took one look at her expression and frowned. “I wouldn't set your sights on Nick Dean, if I were you. He's a trapper by trade, but his real profession is womanizing. He's a rounder, Vortex, and he's got lovers and debts in every town from here to San Antonio.”

 

“What's this?” She whirled round to face him. “Concerned for my easily-besmirched honor, are we? I appreciate the sentiment, but if you'd care to see the morrow, I suggest you mind your own business. I've been managing my own affairs since I was fifteen, thank you very much, and I don't intend to stop now.”

 

“Suit yourself.”

 

Evidently Butch needed no provocation to change targets, because he turned to the Sheriff and narrowed his eyes. “Hey, I heard that. You laughin' at me, huh? You think that's funny?”

 

“Butch, I wasn't talking to –”

 

“Huh?! You...you and yer woman, you think I'm funny? I'll show you funny!”

 

He pitched the Flurp jug at the Sheriff's face, and Tex didn't think – she just raised her pistol and fired. It was an incredible shot, and the ceramic container shattered in midair. Butch fell clean over from surprise, the horses bucked, and Goddard was nearly thrown from the saddle. Shards of pottery exploded outward; some landed, tinkling, on the dusty street, and the rest rained down on the Sheriff. Most of the fragments bounced harmlessly off his vest, but one grazed his cheek and left a small cut. He shook the largest of the chunks from his hair, before turning on Tex with a venomous glare.

 

“What are you trying to do,” he yelled, “pepper me with shrapnel? That shard almost hit my eye, you trigger-happy imbecile!”

 

“Are you kidding me? I just saved your ass from getting pelted in the head with flying jug, and this is the thanks I get.”

 

“I would've dodged it! I'm perfectly capable of holding my own in a dangerous situation. I'm not some inept first-timer who needs protection, least of all from an unscrupulous, uneducated degenerate like you.”

 

The reproof stung more than it should have, and she retorted with vitriol. “Uneducated?! You think this is a 'dangerous situation', and you accuse me of ignorance? Hell's bells, how sheltered are you, Sheriff?”

 

“Just because I don't fraternize with the dregs of society –”

 

“Hey! I don't fraternize with anyone unless they're – hey, what the – whoa now!” Tex nearly toppled sideways as Butch grabbed hold of her leg. He snagged her coat with his other hand, then proceeded to haul himself up arm over arm, using her clothing as a ladder. Butch had changed his tune, as drunken louts are wont to do, and he babbled out apologies as he steadied himself against her. If she was scandalized by the physical contact, Tex gave no sign of it. Instead, she favored the Sheriff with an angry glance.

 

Uneducated. I'll show you uneducated...

 

When Butch finally regained his balance, Tex patted him on the shoulder. “Good news, my inebriated friend. Excessive alcohol consumption has impaired your judgment, so you won't understand the gravity of the charges I'm about to convey upon you. Let's review...disorderly conduct, public drunkenness, coarse contact with a lady of good standing... And then there's assaulting an officer of the law, which is a class six felony, and is gonna earn you a year in the big house, minimum. Now, a proper lawyer could probably get that charge knocked down to misdemeanor simple assault, but seeing as there's no courthouse or judge or anything in this two-bit town, you'll have to settle for justice the Texas way.”

 

He blinked stupidly. “The what?”

 

“Goodnight, Butch.”

 

Tex punched him in the face, and he was out cold before he even hit the dirt. He lay there, snoring, with a dimwitted look on his face, and Tex turned back to the Sheriff in triumph.

 

Mr. Neutron appeared mildly stunned. “You...you didn't inform him of his rights,” he stammered after a moment.

 

“He’s plenty informed already. See? He's exercising his right to remain silent even as we speak.”

 

The Sheriff looked down at Butch, then back up at Tex. He frowned. “I don't understand you, Vortex. Killer, vagrant, quick-draw...attorney? You'll have to forgive me if I don't see the connection. Is there an explanation for any of this?”

 

Tex shook the soreness from her knuckles. “I used to be someone who mattered, Neutron. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.” Grabbing both horses by the reins, she turned and strolled off toward Libby's Juke Joint, her coat billowing behind her. She motioned for him to follow. “Come on, Sheriff, we've done our civic duty.”

 

“But...but we can't just leave him in the middle of the street!”

 

“Sure we can.”

 

“Look, Vortex, Butch isn't all bad...I mean, sure, he is a bully and an ignoramus, but he's a first-rate carpenter, and he's really only a nuisance when he's intoxicated...”

 

“Don't get your dander up, Sheriff. He'll be fine. At any rate, he'll be sleeping off this bender for a coon's age...and in the meantime, I believe you owe me a drink. Horses saddled in one minute and forty five seconds, remember? It's time to pay up.”

 

The Sheriff regarded the outlaw with something akin to resentful admiration, then trotted off after her.

 

**********************************************************************************************************

At long last, I have achieved my dream of using the iconic phrase "this town ain't big enough fer the two of us"! Already this story has allowed me to check two such phrases off my bucket list.

And now, a minor note on Butch. It's tough to convincingly age-up a minor character in the best of circumstances, but add on a regional accent, a time period shift, AND a drunken slur...well, not sure how well I did. I figured "town drunk" was at least vaguely similar to "school bully", since both are people you just wanna deck in the freakin' face. Incidentally, I based Butch's behavior on my friend Morgan - who, when intoxicated, turns into a belligerent jackass.


HISTORICAL SHIT AND BULLSHIT SHIT
-The Comanche are a Plains Indian hunter-gatherer tribe with a horse culture. Their historic territory consisted of present day eastern New Mexico, southern Colorado, northeastern Arizona, southern Kansas, all of Oklahoma, and most of northwest Texas. I figure Nick's Dad was of European descent, while his Mom was a Comanche from the latter locale. And yes, the moniker "Injun Nick" would be considered offensive today.

-A Class 6 Felony is the least serious of all the felony charges; however, the designation is almost certainly anachronistic. I tried my best to find a listing of period-accurate legal terminology for the state of Texas, but no luck. When all else fails, you sometimes have to make shit up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-Those of you who are familiar with the history of law may wonder why the Sheriff mentioned "reading Butch his rights", when this protocol (known as Miranda Rights) wasn't made mandatory until the 1960s. The Sheriff was referring to Butch's 5th Amendment rights (the part of the Bill of Rights that allows people to keep silent in order to avoid self-incrimination), and he was doing it because he's a good guy. 'Cause honestly, out in newly-settled territory, lawmen could do pretty much whatever they wanted with minimal oversight. 
-Vocab:

• Pillion - A pad or cushion for an extra rider behind the saddle on a horse
• Three sheets to the wind - rip-roaring drunk
• Don't get your dander up - chill the hell out
• The Big House - prison

 

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

Next part: link

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

ROFL!!! Just like those 2 to get in a spat when one tries to do a favor for the other... Way to GO, Mara!!

Butch and Nick absolutely cracked me UP, and that bit about breaking his leg a lot as a kid?! HILARIOUS!!! I swear, you NAILED the "drunken Butch" right in the bullseye!! Awesome job, as always, girl!

I eagerly await part/Chapter 8!!!

[Mara=^.^=]

Nick absolutely cracked me UP, and that bit about breaking his leg a lot as a kid?! HILARIOUS!!!

Yeah, I thought that was pretty clever Fact: Nick broke his leg 23 times as a kid. He kept falling off his horse during buffalo hunts. Never quite healed right


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[~~Megan~~]

Mara I would comment more frequently...but there aren't enough words in the English language to do it justice. Plus the sheer amazingness just kind of melts my brain so I would end up keyboard mashing.

 tumblr_m3k3ijHGbO1rnknu4.gif   1000.07KB   5 downloads

 tumblr_m3k6oejBv01qlos9g.gif   291.78KB   4 downloads

 tumblr_m3k256IAUm1ql18gr.gif   281.71KB   3 downloads

Sokka concurs.

[Chompyzilla]

"Personally, I think he just broke his leg a lot as a kid.”
It's great to know that even in the west, nick still breaks his leg a lot.

[Mara=^.^=]

Sokka concurs.

Whoa, I just achieved Sokka approval? Daaaaaaayyyuuuum.

It's great to know that even in the west, nick still breaks his leg a lot.

Some things never change

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

And Butch is still a jerk...a drunken jerk.

[underwater]

He pulled a cigar from his buckskin jacket and popped it into his mouth, then proceeded to chew on it, unlit, as though it were a stick of candy.

That is SO Nick...just like his lollipop from the movie

I wouldn’t piss on your teeth if your mouth was on fire!”

My Grandpa used to say this

you smell like the northbound side of a southbound mule.

So basically Nick just told Butch he smells like a mule's butt

You gotta face like a bulldog lickin' wizz off a nettle!

This saying > all others

He's a rounder, Vortex, and he's got lovers and debts in every town from here to San Antonio.”

Reminds me of that song from Lady and the Tramp
He's a tramp
He's a scoundrel
He's a rounder
He's a cad
He's a tramp
But I love him
Yes, even I have got it really bad...

"Huh?! You...you and yer woman, you think I'm funny? I'll show you funny!”

Dr. Corinne is sensing some self-esteem issues

Mr. Neutron appeared mildly stunned. “You...you didn't read him his rights,” he blurted after a moment.

“Nonsense. He's exercising his right to remain silent even as we speak.”

I LOL'd

in the meantime, I believe you owe me a drink. Horses saddled in one minute and forty five seconds, remember? It's time to pay up.

YESSSS go get drunk together



Corinne

[Katia11]

oh, Mara this is just .. silly perfect. (A GOOD THING)

[Mara=^.^=]

oh, Mara this is just .. silly perfect.

Thanks...?

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Katia11]

as mentioned, it's a good thing. I wish I could capture characters as well as you. They freakin' jump off the page!

[~~Megan~~]

Mr. Neutron appeared mildly stunned. “You...you didn't read him his rights,” he blurted after a moment.

Just thought I'd point this out, historical bullshit and all. The rights Sheriff Jimmy refers to are called the Miranda rights or the Miranda warning, because they were established after the Supreme Court case Miranda vs. Arizona. This all went down in 1966, and before that, it was not required to read people their rights. If you didn't already know your rights, then sucked to be you. Though I completely understand that Jimmy, the fair-minded sheriff he is, would probably always inform the people he arrested.

(I had to do a report on Miranda vs. AZ my senior year in gov't )

[Mara=^.^=]

Just thought I'd point this out, historical bullshit and all. The rights Sheriff Jimmy refers to are called the Miranda rights or the Miranda warning, because they were established after the Supreme Court case Miranda vs. Arizona. This all went down in 1966, and before that, it was not required to read people their rights. If you didn't already know your rights, then sucked to be you. Though I completely understand that Jimmy, the fair-minded sheriff he is, would probably always inform the people he arrested.

(I had to do a report on Miranda vs. AZ my senior year in gov't )

Thanks for the info! Though in this chapter, the Sheriff was referring exclusively to Butch's 5th Amendment rights (the part of the Bill of Rights that allows people to keep silent in order to avoid self-incrimination). I'm sure that over-educated goody-goody is quite familiar with Constitutional law, and eager to get in on the action. 'Cause honestly, out in newly-settled territory, lawmen could do pretty much whatever they wanted with minimal oversight. Jimmaaay's makin' himself some oversight
Tex, meanwhile, doesn't give a shit

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =