835 replies to this topic

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

What?? Then you guys better get on over there! Otherwise, I'll go all barracuda on you!!! That is all...

C'mon, Sheen, seriously?? Knock it off! *under my breath to IDOJ* Sheesh, what a total moron...!

Hey!! I heard that!

[Pigquet3]

I really need to read the 2 latest chapters of this. It's been too long, but I remember loving it so much. This'll be a fun treat!

 

 

 

 

 

  Pigquet

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

WOOOOOO!!! Go for it, Theenie!!

[Mara=^.^=]

Working on another update. God I wish I could've finished this thing back in like 2015

 

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Hey, that just shows how awesomely dedicated and diligent you are about this! I seriously applaud you for that, and for never giving up on this, as well, just like you never did with TOSOT, which you eventually finished! You go, girl!!

[Katia11]

Working on another update. God I wish I could've finished this thing back in like 2015


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

(hugs) thanks for sticking it out - you are the best! (also, please don't push yourself too hard. Your health and well-being matter more than a fic. ❤️

[Mara=^.^=]

I was playing around with one of those AI text engines, seeing what sort of shit it would generate if I provided a section of this fic as a prompt. Here are some of my favorite results:
 

“I was lucky,” she said coolly. “When I touched your horse's rope, it did strange things to me. The sheriff can attest to it.”

"This would be Mr. Neutron, my employer. And even as beautiful as you are, I've got to put you in your place, woman."

His eyes were large as blackberries, and for a moment, they sparkled at her. “I'll make you a deal,” he said. “You don't kill me, I won't kill Mr. Neutron.”

She jerked the reins in irritation and refused to look at him. “I'm a bride-to-be,” she spat. “I'm here to wed my sweet Mr. Theryman!”

(who the fuck is Mr. Theryman?)
 

“Um, sir?” said Muttface. “This gentleman has already been assaulted, with the intent of creating criminal charges.”

 

Eddie was leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette. He was his old self again, the one who didn't trust anyone but himself. As he sucked on the glowing tip, he glanced over his shoulder to make sure Eustace wasn't going to suddenly have a heart attack. “Who’s this guy?” he asked. “He looks like a circus act.”

She followed him into the alley. “Shit,” he said. “There's no horse in here, and it's bigger than I thought.”

Paige thought of her canoe-load of flour.

(who is Paige??)
 

While navigating the rough terrain, they were suddenly assaulted by a terrible howl. They were unprepared, and only managed to dodge out of the way before the blow landed. “That thing,” said Tex. “It was right behind us, and it was a freakin' werewolf.”

(there are werewolves now???)


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Katia11]

LOL these are all pretty great. 

[ShadRose17]

Oh my gosh those were hilarious I love them.

[Chompyzilla]

The sheriff can attest to it. Oh my.

[SweeneyxxTodd]

Omg I died. These are amazing.

[Pigquet3]

Those are f*cking hysterical. I love these AI generated attempts at understanding a piece of work and overall imitating a person.

 

 

 

 

 

  Pigquet

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Omg, yeah, they are! Those are a hoot! AI certainly has a sense of humor, sorta...!

[Mara=^.^=]

Those are f*cking hysterical. I love these AI generated attempts at understanding a piece of work and overall imitating a person.

 

I want to become a police officer for a day, just so I can say that somebody was assaulted "with the intent of creating criminal charges."

 

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Pffft, that's a good one, Mara! A laugh riot!!

[Mara=^.^=]

Yeah, Okay. This chapter didn't really need to exist, but I wanted to squeeze in one more minor character cameo...
 

**************************************************************
 

For Eustace, the drudgery of lawlessness was proving hard to bear. Since daybreak, he'd been trapped with Eddie in some no-name boarding house, stewing in a m�lange of smoke and body odor. The back room that harbored them bore the scars of their endeavors. Discarded cigarette butts littered the carpet, and maps, checklists, and receipts lay scattered everywhere. A stack of Wanted posters occupied the table � it was a shopping list of sorts, a roster of degenerates whose crimes ranged from theft to assault to drunken slaughter. They weren't the sort of men Eustace was accustomed to employing, but these were desperate times.

 

As the clock struck noon, Eddie tossed one final leaflet on the stack. "Welp," he said, plumes curling from his Lucky Strike, "that takes care of firepower. The foreman has his marching orders, logistics look good�things are finally shapin' up."

 

The teenager indulged in a languid stretch, then rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. Eustace fidgeted impatiently.

 

"Don't celebrate just yet," he chided. "We still need horses for the last leg of the trek. Wasn't Adler supposed to handle that? Where in blazes is he?"

 

"Beats me." Eddie took a deep, long drag, then slumped back in his chair and closed his eyes. "Damn," he murmured, exhaling slowly. "I could really use a drink."

 

Tick-tick-tick. The sound of the rail baron's pocket watch lengthened the silence.

 

"Eddie," ventured Eustace, as he played with the chain on his timepiece, "I've been thinking: how big is the reward on Tex?"

 

"Her again?" Eddie scratched a bug bite, but didn't open his eyes.

 

"An outlaw of her caliber must be worth a pretty penny, don't you think? Much more than these bottom-of-the-barrel miscreants Terry dredged up."

 

"Do you have a point, Useless, or are you just takin' your tongue for a walk?"

 

"Come on, Eddie, think. We could take her in. Recoup some of our losses."

 

He snorted. "Hate to piss on your parade, compadre, but you won't get the payout you're lookin' for. Her bounty's for assault and battery. It ain't worth the trouble."

 

"Assault? That can't be right. I've seen grown men quail at the mere mention of her name � surely her trade is widely known."

 

"You don't get it, Strych. Her puny reward is why they're scared of her. They know that she could do away with them and face zero consequences. You see, Useless, there's this little thing called 'the burden of proof'. Tex doesn't just kill people � she makes her victims disappear. Without a body, the law can't prove they're actually dead. No body, no murder." He chuckled as he crushed his cigarette against the tabletop. "I gotta hand it to the bitch. She knows her stuff."

 

Eustace stroked his chin. "There must be someone willing to pay for her. A rival outlaw, perhaps? A jilted lover? The family of a missing victim?"

 

"God, you're a bore. Why does every conversation have to be about your bank account? It's exhausting."

 

"Well, I wouldn't expect a gambler to possess financial acumen," he shot back. "Shall we discuss some of your specialties instead? Cheap booze and loose women, perhaps?"

 

"Hey. Don't knock 'em 'til you try 'em, Strych."

 

Eustace made a face. "I'm not like you, Eddie. I drink wine, not spirits, and when it comes to the fairer sex, I have no choice but to take a circumspect approach. Men of my social standing are at constant risk of falling prey to greedy Jezebels who want to get their hands on our fortunes. It's one of the reasons why I haven't married."

 

"Aww, don't let it get you down, Useless. Look at it this way � with teeth like yours, you could always court a mule."

 

Eustace sighed heavily. It wasn't worth the argument.

 

Moments later, a knock came at the door, and Blix nudged it open half an inch. "I am sorry to interrupt, Mein Herr, but Abraham Adler is here to see you. Shall I send him in?"

 

"Stop asking permission to do your job, you ignoramus. Just do it."

 

"Yes, of course. I apologize."

 

The door creaked as it swung fully open, and Muttface gangled into view.

 

"Got an update on the hosses, boss," he said. "I found us a rustler that's willin' to throw in � he says he's got a plan to pinch some Appaloosas."

 

Eddie pulled out another cigarette. "Go on."

 

Muttface mistook this for an invitation, and he flopped down in a vacant chair. An eye-watering miasma wafted from his boots, and Eustace nearly gagged.

 

"Y'ever heard of a broad what goes by the name of 'Sagebrush Sally'?" he asked.

 

"Doesn't ring a bell."

 

"She owns a ranch just east of Marble Orchard. Word is, Sally ain't got no husband, and her line riders are spread real thin this time o' year. If we go in, guns blazing, it oughtta be easy pickin's."

 

"So�what? We hoof it from the train stop, pop off a couple sentries, and ride the stolen horses down to Retro Valley?"

 

"I reckon that about covers it. Easy as, right?"

 

"Hmm." Eddie drummed his fingers on the tabletop. "This rustler�where'd you say you found him?"

 

"Up near Alaz�n Creek. I chanced upon him early mornin', camped out by the riverbank. Couldn't tell ya his real name, but folks 'round town call him 'Flippy'."

 

The boy outlaw narrowed his eyes. "Describe him to me."

 

"Gee, I dunno...creepy li'l cuss, about yay-high, and he's done up like a carnie barker. Fair near certain I sensed the devil on him, but I'm told he's the best in the biz. Why? You know him?"

 

"I knew him," replied Eddie, fishing out his lighter. "He used to work the rodeo circuit, back before he committed all the murders."

 

"Murders, plural?" interjected Eustace.

 

"Yep. Three U.S. marshals, two judges, and a clown. Though he insists the clown was self-defense."

 

"Good God."

 

"There's no sense tryin' to sugarcoat it. The man's crazy as a shithouse rat, but if he says he can get us horses, he can get us horses." Eddie turned back to Muttface. "Where does he want to meet?"

 

"...Here, boss. He's in the parlor now."

 

Eddie shook his head as he stood and gathered up his papers. "You know, I almost feel sorry for those poor suckers in Retro Valley. This is gonna be a bloodbath, and not a single one of them will see it comin'."

 

 

**************************************************************
 

I don't think I ever really clarified why Tex has her clients sign a formal contract before she takes a job, given that her modus operandi is covert action. The motive is simple: it's vindictiveness. If she ever does get caught (or if her client tries to throw her under the bus to hide their own culpability), she wants to be able to bring them down with her.
 

HISTORICAL SHIT AND BULLSHIT SHIT
- In 1870, an Ohio man named Albert Pease invented a machine that chopped up tobacco for cigarettes. This automation reduced the price, increasing their popularity. The "Lucky Strike" tobacco brand mentioned in this chapter was introduced in 1871, and it still exists today. Originally conceived as a kind of chewing tobacco, it later evolved into cigarettes. Also, fun fact: lighters were invented before matches! The first lighter was invented in 1823, while the match was created in 1826.
- The era of westward expansion was chaotic, with populations constantly in flux: people were known to disappear, then reappear elsewhere, all the time. Contract killers like Tex could evade prosecution, so long as their victims' fates remained a mystery. While it is possible to go to trial without the purported victim's body, no-body murder convictions were historically rare. By the mid-1870s, there had only been three such guilty verdicts in the United States – and one of them was later overturned after the alleged victim was found alive.
- Line Riders were ranch employees who patrolled the farmstead's boundaries, turning back stray livestock, repairing fences, and guarding against rustlers. Horse and cattle theft was a major problem in the Old West, especially in wartime; Comanche and Apache raiders preyed on Mexico in the years leading up to the Mexican-American War, and the outbreak of the American Civil War brought about a massive increase in rustling on both sides of the border. If you ever want to go down a crazy rabbit hole, read up on The Johnson County War in Wyoming. The conflict, which lasted from 1889 to 1893, was a dramatic clash between cattle barons, homesteaders, rustlers, local lawmen, and the United States Cavalry. Shit was wild.
- Alaz�n Creek is a small waterway in San Antonio. Named for its reddish-brown color, it was the site of a battle in 1813, during the Mexican War of Independence.

 

Colloquialisms:
* Hosses - Horses
* Quail - Cower in fear
* Pinch - Steal
* Jezebel - A power-hungry temptress. In the Bible, Jezebel was a Phoenician royal who promoted the worship of false gods in Israel after seducing and marrying King Ahab.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

 

NEXT PART -> Everyone's Business

[Katia11]

This was literally the best surprise of the week!!!!! Oh my goodness. What a treat.

 

"You don't get it, Strych. Her puny reward is why they're scared of her. They know that she could do away with them and face zero consequences. You see, Useless, there's this little thing called 'the burden of proof'. Tex doesn't just kill people – she makes her victims disappear. Without a body, the law can't prove they're actually dead. No body, no murder." He chuckled as he crushed his cigarette against the tabletop. "I gotta hand it to the bitch. She knows her stuff." I love that for her.

 

"Murders, plural?" interjected Eustace. "Yep. Three U.S. marshals, two judges, and a clown. Though he insists the clown was self-defense." "Good God." This just was excellent.

 

FLIPPY? SAGEBRUSH SALLY? What an amazing use of canon! I also love seeing this side of things. It never feels overdone but always gives us a glimpse into what's happening on the villain side of things, which is very fun.

 

Mara, I hope you know this made my entire day.

 

Excellent work, friend.

[Mara=^.^=]

I set up the Sagebrush Sally thing all the way back in chapter 2...and only just now got around to making it relevant. lol

I love the villain segments because Eddie the Baby is hilarious and I enjoy writing him way more than I should

 

 

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Katia11]

I also love reading him GIVE ME ALL EDDIE THE BABY. Oh my goodness, I have not read the early chapters in a while. I completely forgot about that. I feel silly now. LOL

 

"For Eustace, the drudgery of lawlessness was proving hard to bear. Since daybreak, he'd been trapped with Eddie in some no-name boarding house, stewing in a mélange of smoke and body odor. The back room that harbored them bore the scars of their endeavors. Discarded cigarette butts littered the carpet, and maps, checklists, and receipts lay scattered everywhere. A stack of Wanted posters occupied the table – it was a shopping list of sorts, a roster of degenerates whose crimes ranged from theft to assault to drunken slaughter. They weren't the sort of men Eustace was accustomed to employing, but these were desperate times." Also, can we talk about THIS?! This was a good way to open the chapter. It sucked me right IN.

[Mara=^.^=]

I changed the setting of this chapter three times. In the end I decided the location was just a distraction, and hand-waved it in the revision. I'm still not sure about the pacing, but eh. It is what it is.

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =