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[~~Megan~~]

All right, second time around! This story is complete but I'm only going to post a chapter a week. Or two if I get impatient, which I probably will. Actually, I'll post two a week. Tuesday and Friday. Anyway, this is what happens when you fictionalize me and I get to do whatever I want because fiction-me is a poofer! Which will be sort of explained if you read this story. If you ask me, its amazing, but then again I'm biased. Anyway first chapter!


Retroville Rampage
Chapter One
In Which My Sudden Reappearance Irritates the heck Out of Everyone

“Listen, Neutron, do you want to go to the Candy Bar or not?”

“Well, not if you keep calling me Neutron!”

Cindy sighed. Asking out guys was a lot harder than it seemed. “Jimmy. Do you want to go to the Candy-“

*poof*

A strikingly beautiful girl had just appeared out of nowhere. Her hair shone in the Texas sun, her eyes sparkled as she looked around…

Okay, so I have an ego. Who doesn’t?

I had just poofed into Retroville on a whim, and while I spotted Jimmy and Cindy, my poor boyfriend was stumbling about in post-poof disorientation. I had dragged him along, of course, on the same whim.

“God seriously has a twisted sense of humor,” he said, shaking his head and blinking rapidly, “to have made you a poofer.”

I squeezed him tight. “Thanks.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to Jimmy and Cindy. They had been staring open-mouthed at me. It wasn’t particularly attractive. “Hey guys, what’s up?” I asked brightly.

Jimmy recovered first. “What are you doing here?”

Cindy looked vehemently vexed. “I was in the middle of asking Jimmy out!”

There were several disembodied gasps. They both stared at one another for a second before turning red, while I stood there gaping. I stamped my foot and pouted. “You’re telling me my stupid capriciousness interrupted J/C?! Man, I’m an idiot!”

The other three silently nodded their agreement.

I snorted. “Thanks for the moral support.”

“You’re welcome,” Nolan quipped, quite unhelpfully. I whacked him. “Oww, love you too.”

“So when’s the dance?” I asked.

“What dance?” they answered blankly.

I sighed impatiently. “You asked Jimmy out, didn’t you?”

“I did?”

“She did?”

“So there has to be a dance,” I continued, “it’s J/C canon.”

Tapping my chin thoughtfully, I paced. “Thanksgiving is way too obvious…” On the edge of my conscious, I heard them discussing the distance between them and the Retroville Insane Asylum. A sudden stroke of intuition slapped me. “A harvest dance!” I hopped around happily. “Tonight!”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, tonight!” I beamed. “I’ll tell the gang.” Whipping out my cell, I punched in some numbers. “Hey, Libby, it’s me!” Horrified squawking was heard. “Yeah, did you hear? There’s a harvest dance tonight! You call Sheen and I’ll call Carl.”

More numbers were punched. “Hi, Carl! There’s a dance tonight and- no? You’ll pass? I could invite- oh, a restraining order, she’ll be disappointed. Well, see you there!”
I hung up and grabbed Nolan’s hand again. “We’re off to decorate!”

*poof*

“That girl is insane,” Cindy muttered.

Jimmy nodded. “Want to go to the Candy Bar?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Hand in hand, they walked away.

***

Meanwhile, I had finished decorating the cafeteria, informed every teen in Retroville of the dance, was indulging in a bit of foreshadowing, and in the process of slowly torturing my boyfriend.

Unintentionally, of course.

“Purple?” I asked, changing my dress with a snap of my fingers, “or red?”

Nolan groaned. “Megan, you look great.”

I scowled and poofed into the most hideous dress I could think of. He yelled and fell off his chair.

“Now honestly tell me what you think.”

“Get rid of the dress, that’s what I think,” he said, horrified.

Suddenly Libby ran by. She did a double take, then slowly raised an eyebrow. “Girl, what are you wearin’? You must be trippin’.”

“I was scaring my boyfriend.”

“Oh. Okay then.”

“Where are you going?”

She rolled her eyes. “The Candy Bar. Timmy Turner’s back in town and I gotta go tell Jimmy and Cindy before something else goes wrong with the universe…” She eyed me warily. “If that’s even possible.”

I grinned. “I’ll go with you. Something tells me this will be fun.”

She shrugged. “Whatever.”

*poof*

It was fairly empty, and in a secluded booth, we found our couple, chatting congenially over milkshakes.

“Timmy’s coming!” I sang.

*poof*

“Hey, what’s with the crowd?” Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo had just appeared.

“Hey, Timmy.” I waved. "Hi, Wanda. Hi, Cosmo."

Timmy leaned towards Libby. “Who’s the chick?”

Libby sighed. “You don’t want to know.”

“I’m Megan,” I continued, “and this is Nolan.” I hugged him, and he grimaced.

“Yeah…whatever. Anyway, Cindy, I was wondering-“

“The answer’s no,” I interrupted. “Cindy’s with Jimmy now. Taken. Unavailable. La novia de Jimmy. Comprende?”

“But-“

“You completely missed out on a whole season and a half’s worth of J/C moments,” I persisted in an extremely annoying matter-of-fact tone. “Have you been stranded on an island with Cindy? Have you played footsie in the library with Cindy?”

“Hey!” They scowled at me.

“Uh…” Timmy said inarticulately, looking blank.

“Cosmo, Wanda.” I turned politely to them. “How’s Poof?”

“Uh…” They looked at each other.

“Poof?” asked Timmy, looking even more confused.

I tapped my foot impatiently. “Cosmo and Wanda’s fairy baby, of course. How is he?”

Jimmy looked confused too. “But they’re computer programs, they can’t produce offspring.”

I was seriously getting irritated by my omniscient narrator position. “Cosmo and Wanda are fairy godparents, not computer programs.” I poofed in Poof.

*poof*

“Poof, poof!” he giggled happily. I cuddled him and poofed him a toy.

*POOF*

“NOOOO!!!” an angry German voice yelled. “For revealing the existence of your fairies-“

“YO! Jarhead.”

Jorgen glared at me, his really, really big wand glowing dangerously. I gulped and took a step back. Poofing up a copy of “Da Rules”, I adjusted my glasses and recited, “’Note: A fairy’s existence may be revealed in alternate universes.’”

Wanda and Timmy blinked. “I didn’t know that,” Wanda said.

Jorgen blinked. “Are you a puny fairy, or a puny human?” He gripped his wand tighter. “Either way, I WILL CRUSH YOU!!!”

I shrugged. “Neither. I’m a poofer. And being such, I changed the rules.”

He bristled. “YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE RULES, POOFER OR NOT.”

I poofed Jorgen into a guinea pig. “So,” I said brightly, tickling Poof. “Who’s up for nachos? My treat. Mwahahahaha.”

Nolan blinked. “You scare me sometimes.”

I beamed. “That’s my job.”

In all the hubbub, Libby, Jimmy, and Cindy had simply walked to a different part of the restaurant.

“So, Libs, are you taking Sheen to the dance?” Cindy asked her.

“Probably.”

“Wait.” Jimmy stood. “We’re going?”

“Why not?” Libby said.

“Sweet!” I shrieked. “You’re coming!”

“A dance?” Timmy asked.

“I’m hopelessly lost,” Nolan muttered.

“Ya gonna pay for that? Yeah!”


END CHAPTER ONE


I noticed that when the story was finished, it was much easier to edit! This story has been proofread sooo many times...its about as good as its going to get!




:ph43r:

[Beks]

YAY! I loved this fic the first time around! :dance: Post more! B)

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

I SO love it! Keep going! It's GREAT!!!!!

[RocksmySocks]

Yay it's back! :lol:

[LetsRockThis]

I like! :D Keep writing!

[caseyrox76]

*blinks rapidly, mouth open* *takes several sidesteps to the left and is eventually out of view* *suddenly jumps back into view, arms flailing wildly*
OhMyGosh! :thumbsup: That's awesome! *squee!* I love it! :wub: It's so random and perfect and awesome and cool and random!!

One question, though. Where'd "Poof" come from? The baby, I mean, not the action. Did you make it up, read it in another fic, or was that actually on FoP? (I watch ocasionally, but not often.)

[~~Megan~~]

Poof is actually Wanda and Cosmo's baby, they had a special for it some time last year I think.

And the action of poofing, being a poofer, etc. is something me and my friends came up with two years ago and it just kinda accelerated and spun out of control. We don't own the idea of poofing anymore. It owns us. :lol: I'll post the next chapter tomorrow!





:ph43r:

[~~Megan~~]

I am incredibly sorry that I have not posted! We had testing this week and I had absolutely NO access to any computers of any type. So its your lucky day! You get two chapters!

Retroville Rampage
Chapter Two
In Which I Fanatically Follow J/C Canon

So we were all sitting in Jimmy’s yard and I was rambling because I didn’t know what to do next.

“Why did you come here in the first place?” Cindy scowled.

I stopped and actually thought. “I don’t remember,” I said slowly. “But now that I’m here I might as well finish the job.”

“What job?” Jimmy exclaimed

I looked at him in surprise. “Well, isn’t it obvious? I’m going to create the most clichéd, trite, and platitudinous J/C story that has ever existed.”

(And I will have you note now that there will be little actual J/C in this story.)

At this point, I was interrupted as Carl and Sheen were trying to out-sing each other. Their off-key voices clashed discordantly.

“His name is Llama Boy, and he’s a llama-“

“Ultralord, Ultralord!”

“SHUT UP!” I screamed. As everyone stared, I suddenly noticed a shoe-shaped cloud, pointed it out to no one in particular, and began humming the Jimmy Neutron theme song. “What were we doing again?”

“You were going back to your universe to see what the interior of an iceberg looks like,” Jimmy insisted.

“You’ve already used that one,” I tutted.

Nolan was busy hitting his head against a tree.

Timmy was plucking blades of grass. Wanda and Cosmo had gone to take Poof home. “What are we doing?” he whined.

I sighed. “You guys know nothing. Of course, this is the filler chapter. Every J/C story has to have one.”

Everyone stared at the clouds for a few peaceful seconds.

“Hey, Neutron, that one looks like your head.”

“Well that cumulonimbus is almost as big as your mouth.”

“Ultralord! Ultralord!”

“What is wrong with his voice?”

“You know, I’m obligated, as the author, to add an apologetic note at the end of this chapter.”

“Can you add it now?”

Nolan continued to hit his head against the tree.

***

Meanwhile, in a dark corner of a shadow-filled dimension, he bided his time. Patience, he thought. Soon. Soon.

The word echoed across the twisting blackness, crawling down the spines of even the most gruesome souls. His maniacal laugh rang endlessly through the void.

“Uh…” said Carl.

“It’s- green!” I shrieked. I stared pointedly at the bright green bug on his shirt.

“Grass?”

“Yes,” I moaned, giving up. “It’s grass.”

“Okay,” he said, “I spy…something…blue.”

“The sky,” said Cindy tiredly. “I spy something made of wood.”

Sheen jumped up from his new pet earthworm. “Jimmy’s clubhouse?”

Libby was listening to her music. Loudly. I deemed her the most intelligent one there.

“Filler chapters are so boring!” I said, frustrated. Nevertheless, the point was to take up space, and not enough had been taken up.

So I made a break for Jimmy’s clubhouse, remembered, “Oh yeah, I’m a poofer,” and poofed in. I realized I could find something much more interesting in my head, so I poofed back out and poofed in a portable video game. I sighed happily, and began to press buttons. The minutes ticked by. (“Ah! A bug!”)

Nolan was still hitting his head against the tree. I noted he probably had a pretty bad headache by now, and continued playing.

***

(A/N: Hey, it’s me! I really do apologize for this incessantly boring chapter, but I was trying to make it as amusing as possible without advancing the plot whatsoever…which is more difficult than it sounds. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the next chapter more!)

END CHAPTER TWO


And there you have it! The most pointless chapter ever written. But beware, the story is about to take a sinister turn... *.*
(Woo! Irony!) :lol:





:ph43r:

[~~Megan~~]

Oops, triple post! Oh well. Who's ready for chapter three!?


Retroville Rampage
Chapter Three
In Which Timmy Is Introduced to the Horror of J/C Fanfiction

I checked my watch. “It’s time!” I screeched.

Seven heads looked up. “For the dance?” Nolan asked hopefully.

I stomped my foot. “No, it’s time to go to the mall and pick out dresses, subsequently torturing you guys.”

“But I don’t have a-“

“You too, Turner!”

Carl regarded me hopelessly. “What about me?”

I patted his head. “You’re excused.”

He wheezed. He was a Wheezer, after all. “Good. I have anxiety issues in public department stores.”

“Are there private department stores?” Cindy muttered.

I clapped my hands magnanimously. “To the mall!”

*poof*

“Now,” I began, walking briskly among the group, “we have to stay here for at least four hours. Since Timmy has no girlfriend to be tortured by, pretend he’s gay and ask him for fashion advice.”

“Hey!” Timmy protested.

At this choice moment, Wanda and Cosmo appeared.

“Oh good, you’re here. Now girls, we have absolute freedom to drag the guys wherever we want, try on whatever we wish, and be as insecure as femininely possible.”

Several of the guys let out horrified, totally un-masculine squeaks.

“Be really indecisive!” I continued. “Most importantly, assume your guy is lying! Except Timmy, ‘cause he’s gay. On second thought, Timmy too. Let the shopping begin!”

We started shopping.

***

Sheen was the first to go. After about seven dresses that only differed in the name of the shade of purple they sported, he suffered a nervous breakdown. Jimmy and Nolan tried to run for it twice. Timmy, after several stores, curled up in a ball and refused to speak.

“Does this match my eyes?”

“So should I get a halter or spaghetti straps?”

“This looks good, doesn’t it?”

“You liar! Of course this isn’t the right shade!”

“You think I’m fat, don’t you?”

Then came the shoes.

I almost felt sorry for them, but I was having too much fun to spoil it with sympathy.

***

We congregated near a fountain in the middle of the mall. The guys were staring vacantly into space.

Cindy, Libby, and I skipped along as Wanda floated beside us, our arms laden with shopping bags. “That was really fun!” Cindy giggled. Libby nodded in agreement.

“Are we done yet?” Timmy wailed.

“Megan, if you love me, you’ll end this,” Nolan pleaded, “please.”

Cosmo was sucking his thumb.

I sighed and giggled. “Almost. I have to go into an incredibly detailed account of all our purchases.”

As hard as I’d tried, Cindy and Libby had refused to buy dresses that corresponded with their color schemes. Boo.

Cindy had gone with a deep blue, knee-length gown, with short lacy sleeves and a shallow v-neck. It was soft and shimmery with a subtle, delicate floral design. It went well with her silver ballerina flats.

Libby had chosen a cute, crimson, corset-style dress with spaghetti straps and a short flared skirt. Strappy black heels and a whole lot of gold jewelry completed the look.

Wanda had chosen a simple yet stunning golden chemise with matching shoes. Cosmo, in an attempt at redemption, had poofed a beautiful corsage to go in her hair. Unfortunately, it ate her left eyebrow.

Don’t ask me how.

And I, after much deliberation, had bought a silky lavender piece, off-shoulder with short flared sleeves and a knee-length ruffled skirt, a pair of off-white kitten heels, and, as an afterthought, a giant milkshake.

“Can we be done now?” Jimmy moaned.

I took a long time drinking my milkshake. Then I clutched at my head screaming “Brain freeze!” I did that about three more times, and then I had to stop because my milkshake was gone. “Yes,” I said slowly, “or no. What is an answer but a device invented to transfer knowledge? What is a question? Can we only gain knowledge from other people?” I brandished my empty cup angrily. “Why can’t the milkshake answer you? It has knowledge!” I sucked at my straw and realized my milkshake was gone.

Suddenly Nolan grabbed my arm. “We’re going.” He dragged me away, and I watched blankly as everyone gratefully followed.

“Hey!” I protested. “What’s your problem?”

He kept walking and dragging. “You imprisoned us in a mall for two hundred and sixty-seven minutes. I need sunshine and air that has not been conditioned.”

I went limp and fell on the floor. “You’ll have to drag me out. We still need our hair and nails and makeup done!”

He rolled his eyes and kept dragging me. I squirmed and kicked like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

The girls, who were more favorably inclined towards me since I’d bought all their clothes, knelt down beside me. “We can do that tonight,” Libby said soothingly. “The guys need some free time.”

I pouted. “Fine.” I got up and stomped off.

Since I was brooding on this, I didn’t immediately hear the screams of terror and panic echoing through the mall. Then everyone was around me, telling me to poof out of there, and that irritated me even more. “Why?”

Then came the boom. It was a rather large boom, and before I could indentify its source, I realized that I’d have to get off the ground.

My head was pounding, and I stood up woozily. The others were all staring up at the ceiling, so I decided to see what was so interesting up there.

Jimmy was up there, holding a very evil looking weapon. He was also laughing quite insanely. I wondered how he’d gotten up there so fast.

“Hey, Whippy Dip! Ready to be destroyed?”

My head was swimming. Destroying something? Sounded like fun. I poofed up drunkenly to him. There must have been something wrong with my ears too, because he sure didn’t sound like Jimmy.

“Can I help?”

END CHAPTER THREE

[~~Megan~~]

Well since no one has replied I guess I'll just have to console myself that I think the fourth chapter's awesome.

Retroville Rampage
Chapter Four
In Which I Temporarily Become Evil

I swayed on the spot. My head really hurt. “So are we gonna destroy something or what? I do have to say, this is really out of character for you…”

“Who are you?” he responded in a gruff voice.

I giggled. “Um, Megan, remember? By the way, nice voice. Puberty? Wondering when it’d come along.”

“How did you get up here?” He’d turned the scary-looking weapon on me. I stared down the barrel. It was very dark.

“I poofed, of course.” I poofed myself a bigger and scarier gun. “Please get that out of my face. And really, did you have to blow up the ceiling, Jimmy? I mean, we were leaving…”

A strange look crossed his face. “Yeah,” he said slowly, “I’m Jimmy.”

I pouted. “I know that, thank you.”

He nodded. “Hey, Megan, look down there. See that other Jimmy? He’s an evil clone.”

“Really?” I gasped. “I thought he was trapped in the dark matter dimension!” I peered over the side.

He widened his eyes meaningfully. “He escaped. We have to capture him.”

“Well of course we do! Sounds like fun!” Sweet. Evil Jimmy wouldn’t know what hit him.

Several uneventful poofs later, we were somewhere on the edge of the Andromeda Galaxy. Why? Because I felt like it.

This is when my head stopped hurting and I realized that Evil Jimmy was not in his cell. He was strutting around the bridge. Needless to say, I felt like an idiot.

Then again, that wasn’t exactly different from normal.

I was trying to think quickly, but Evil Jimmy looked over at me and suspicion flashed across his face. My mind blanked and I adopted a bland smile. He turned away.

“Stupid clone,” I muttered. “Why’d he have to go and give me a concussion? Can’t believe I thought he was Jimmy… What am I going to do?” I thought for a second and sighed. “The gang’s not gonna like this…”

Solving this the easy way never occurred to me. I crept out of the bridge (not looking sneaky whatsoever) and attempted to contact the gang. I was almost finished when there was a menacing click behind my head. I turned around.

It was Evil Jimmy, of course.

“Hey, dollface.” He said it casually, but he looked quite demented. He slung his arm over my shoulder. “What are you doing?”

I shifted uncomfortably. Did he still believe I thought he was Jimmy? I took the chance.

“Um, calling my boyfriend.” I scowled at him and shrugged his arm off pointedly. “You know, that guy I love? Not you? What’s your problem?”

The stupid call went through.

“Hello?” BAM! The laser warmed my nose as the clone blasted the device.

I gave a weak laugh. “Wrong number.”

“Now,” he said, his voice dangerous and low. He sounded mad. And not the angry kind. “I’m dreadfully sorry, but that beau of yours makes you a liability.” He pulled out the hypno-ray.

I was frozen stiff. This was not the way I’d planned it. “Um…”

There was a flash of light, and my mind blanked.

“You are mine,” I heard, “You know nothing but to serve me.”

I blinked and looked around. Jimmy was smiling suavely at me, his arm around me. I giggled abashedly.

“Now, dollface,” he said smoothly, “go down and check on the prisoner.”

“Yes sir.” I smiled, and with a mock salute, I poofed away.

As soon as I appeared, the captive scrambled to his feet. “Megan! It’s me! The real Jimmy!”

“Of course you are,” I said coolly. “That’s why we’re going to shoot you into deep space.” I was tempted to shove him through the airlock now.

He looked hopelessly confused. “Megan? Megan, you have to transport the clone back to the dark matter dimension!”

“Why?” I raised an eyebrow. He seemed to think I was on his side.

“Megan, what’s wrong with you? You’re a good guy! You don’t serve the clone!”

I strolled off. “I’ll be glad to be rid of you.”

“Wait! Megan! He hypnotized you, didn’t he? You have to fight it!”

I ignored him and walked away.

Back on the bridge, I scurried around as Jimmy prowled restlessly.

“Get me something to eat! How far to the outer rim? What’s that noise? Fix that! Where’s my food?!”

I sat next to him, soothing him. “Not far. Nothing will go wrong…you’re too smart and clever for anything to happen…” My fawning seemed to calm him down. He glanced at me and smiled his mad smile. Then he frowned. He touched my arm and smiled again.

“You should look prettier, dollface, if you’re going to be my servant.”

I looked down at my tattered and dust covered clothes. “Yes sir,” I answered coyly.

So when Nolan barged in, followed by the rest of the gang, I was sitting on the arm of Jimmy’s chair, wearing a miniskirt and feeding him chocolate.

Yeah. Awkward.

Of course, this didn’t cross my mind. “Computer,” I said coldly. “Trespassers. Fire.”



END CHAPTER FOUR


Next chapter is my fav! Be here on Friday to check it out!





:ph43r:

[Zoey <3]

Great story so far!

[J/C AVA]

This is good! I'm liking it so far. It sounds like the kids are bored out of their minds but then disaster strikes.

Keep it up! :thumbsup:

[~~Megan~~]

Um, chapter five? Heeeeeelllooooooo.... *echo*

Retroville Rampage
Chapter Five
In Which A Spaceship Is Found, Lost, Found Again, Trespassed Upon, and Destroyed, Respectively, With Some Parts Inbetween I Didn’t Bother To Write Down

Nolan ignored the pounding in his head and continued to bang his head against the wall. Cindy was yelling at Carl, and Sheen and Timmy were having a debate. To say it was spirited would have been an understatement. He gathered it was about cartoons. Finding this strangely and convolutedly ironic, he laughed.

In the midst of these wandering thoughts, he worried about Megan. They’d seen her with the evil clone (now there was a cliché) and now Jimmy was gone. Acting quickly, Cindy had tracked them, but then they had disappeared. Cindy had said none of Jimmy’s rockets could travel that fast.

Was Megan with them? A prisoner? Or, he thought with a wry smile, was she off in some other crazy scheme, and hadn’t realized she’d abandoned him here?

Nolan frowned. That wasn’t like her. She’d want to be in the middle of everything. So where was she?

“Hey!” Sheen’s voice grated and he winced. “Nolan! Who’s cooler? Ultralord, Crash Nebula, or Ultralord?”

“Neither.”

“But-“

He walked away, desperate for a quiet corner. He sat next to Cindy. “Have you found them?”

“They’re somewhere in the middle of the Andromeda Galaxy,” she answered mechanically, without looking up. He could tell she was worried.

“How long?” he asked anxiously.

She looked testily at him. “About an hour.”

He sighed and slumped in his chair.

Where was Megan?

***

Sixty long minutes later, the evil Jimmy’s ship came into view, and Nolan knew exactly what she’d been up to.

“That crazy…” he muttered. He looked over at Cindy.

“Megan.” they both said.

“But why?” she mused.

He shrugged. “She probably thought it’d be funny to ‘help’ the clone.” He paused a moment. “And then blow it all up in his face.”

The other ship’s computer asked for a clearance password. Nolan sighed and quickly typed something.

“How’d you know the password?” Cindy asked blankly when the light turned green.

He smiled. “It’s ‘megant.’”

“All right,” Cindy snapped. “Wipe the sappy smile off your face and let’s go rescue Jimmy.”

***

Nolan bypassed all the security with the exact same password until they found Jimmy’s cell.

“Guys!” he yelled, scrambling to his feet. “Megan’s hypnotized. The clone hypnotized her into being evil!”

“Uh… We’re in trouble,” Nolan said.

As Cindy released Jimmy and hugged him tightly, she asked, “Why?”

Jimmy looked down at Cindy in confusion, then grimaced. “Megan seems exceptionally talented at being evil.”

Nolan sighed. “She is.” He looked at the security device. “Lucky thing is she can be very predictable. Sometimes.”

Jimmy clapped to get everyone’s attention. “Well, first thing’s first, we need to get to the bridge. Even with the security not functioning, it won’t be long until we’re discovered.”

The ship was silent but for the whirs of machinery and their fast-paced footsteps.

Along the way there were loud, obnoxious, and convenient signs pointing to everything. Yep, Nolan thought, Megan is all over this ship.

He heard voices through a large door and pushed them open before anyone could stop him. Nolan ran in the room and stumbled in shock. “What the heck?!”

“Computer,” Megan said, not a trace of recognition in her face. “Trespassers. Fire.”

***

“Wait.”

Megan glanced at the clone, surprised. “Computer, hold fire.”

Evil Jimmy looked thoughtful. “You escaped. How predictable.” He motioned to her. “Bind them.”

She snapped her fingers, and at once, they were all manacled and gagged.

“Now,” said the clone. “What to do.”

Nolan wanted to yell in frustration. This jerk had Megan giving him anything he wanted. He struggled as hard as he could, but she glanced at him with that same empty look and snapped and he could not move.

Evil Jimmy was staring contemplatively at his twin. “I could shoot you all into space, but that would be unoriginal.”

Megan spoke up hesitantly. “Sir?”

“What?” he muttered. She sidled closer to him.

“Please. Let me deal with them. I promise you I can take care of them.” She touched his arm softly.

He considered her. “Very well. I’ll be watching carefully; I’d like to see what you’re capable of.”

She smiled. It was happy and cruel at the same time. “Yes sir.”

In an instant they were back in the cell again, still bound, though their gags had been removed. Carl, Sheen and Timmy seemed confused. “Hey,” Timmy grumbled. “Wasn’t she on our side? Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were home!”

They poofed in. “We can’t,” Wanda answered in confusion as the wish failed.

“How?” Timmy exclaimed.

“I don’t know.”

Jimmy cocked his head. "I wonder... Is fairy magic and poofer power compatible?"

Sheen shrugged and began singing the Ultralord theme song suddenly. Jimmy’s eyes widened. “That’s it!”

“What?” the others asked.

Jimmy motioned them to stay quiet. “She’s probably still listening,” he whispered. “Now Sheen, I need you to sing an extremely loud and high-pitched note and hold it. Not yet!” he hissed when Sheen opened his mouth. “We need to attract her attention.”

Libby and Cindy started shouting for random objects, and soon enough Megan stalked up to the cell. “What?”

Jimmy nodded to Sheen, and everyone cringed as a flat A sharp emitted from his mouth. Megan yelled and fell to the floor. Nolan craned his neck to see if she was all right.

She stood up slowly, moaning and clutching her head. Shaking her head rapidly, she looked up at them all.

She scowled. “I’m gonna kill that stupid clone!” she screamed. Everyone cheered. Megan beamed at them all and released them with a snap of her fingers.

Nolan rubbed his wrists when suddenly her arms were around him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. He smiled at her.

“I’ll help you kill him,” he said seriously. “Nobody hypnotizes my girl.”

She poofed them all back to Jimmy’s ship, and blew up Evil Jimmy’s. It was a very cool explosion.

Except for the small escape craft flying quickly away from it. That kind of ruined it.

END CHAPTER FIVE



Stay tuned for chapter six!!! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!






:ph43r:

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

It's truly awesome!!!!! I can't WAIT for more!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

[~~Megan~~]

Thank you for the favorable (if few) reviews! Here's the next chapter: *cue evil music*

Retroville Rampage
Chapter Six
In Which Someone I Totally Forgot About Shows Up

Everyone slumped dejectedly in their seats. “Great,” I said, feeling defeated. “Now what do we do?”

“Can’t you just transport him back to the dark matter dimension?” Jimmy asked, puzzled.

I scowled. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“But…how did he escape in the first place?”

I fidgeted. “I…arranged…for him to escape. As part of the story. But that was different. He got out on his own; I merely provided the exit. I can’t send him back.”

Jimmy frowned. “But don’t you come from-“

“That’s a universe,” I interrupted, “it’s different. I can only open pathways between dimensions. But it doesn’t matter either way. My powers have been temporarily suspended.”

This was met with stunned silence.

“How? Why?” sputtered Jimmy.

I shrugged. “I chose a side. I must use my powers for my own interests and remain neutral. A check for the balance of chaos. Normally I have no limits on my power. Since I used my powers for evil, I’ve barely got enough power left to poof a hard candy.”

Nolan shook his head. “And here I thought you could do whatever you wanted.”

“I can,” I giggled. “But I’ve got consequences, just like everyone else.”

“So can you tell me exactly how these powers work-“ Jimmy pressed.

Carl spoke up timidly. “Um, who’s that?” He pointed at the screen.

A malicious little face was leering at us. I, surprisingly, did not recognize it.

Then, to all’s wonder, Sheen spoke up. “Catalina! What are you up to this time?”

She looked innocently at him. “Why, I’m helping your friend Jimmy, big brother.”

Everyone looked confused. “Sheen has a sister?”

Catalina scowled. “Excuse me!”

There was much general discussion about the ship regarding this new development. Sheen’s little sister shrieked in frustration and ended the transmission.

“Okay…” Libby said slowly.

“Sheen, what did your sister mean when she said she was helping me?” Jimmy asked, looking worried.

Sheen scratched his head. “Well, I don’t know…Cat’s a little crazy…”

“Guess it runs in the family,” Cindy muttered.

“But, you know, she does have that maniacal laugh…and she’s always manipulating me and stuff…what does ‘manipulating’ mean, anyway? And she takes my candy and melts my Ultralord action figures…I dunno, I’ve always thought she was evil.”

“She looked evil,” I accorded. “My little brother is a sadist. I know what evil siblings look like.”

Jimmy started freaking out. “She’s working with the clone! We have to go stop them!”

Nolan frowned. “You can’t attack a little girl.”

“Oh yes he can,” I nodded vigorously. “If he can attack his baby cousin, he can attack Sheen’s little sis.”

“Um,” Carl spoke up again. “What’s that?” He pointed at the screen- again.

There was an extremely large missile heading towards us.

*poof*

“Sheen, does your sister have a tendency of instant gratification?” I asked, looking around at the barren wasteland of a planet I’d poofed us to.

He went cross-eyed.

“Does she get what she wants a lot?” I sighed impatiently.

“Yeah!”

I slapped my forehead. “Great. We’re up against an evil poofer.”

There was another stunned silence.

“There is a lot of confusion and surprise in this story,” I commented.

“But- but-“ Jimmy stuttered, “You said poofers couldn’t be evil!” He started. "And how did you poof us here?!"

I wagged my finger. “Those are my rules. Poofers can do anything they want, including putting restrictions on themselves. And break those restrictions.”

Jimmy glared at me and I beamed back. “How do you know who’s a poofer or not?”

“Intuition. The Poofer has a list of all poofers in existence, but that’s top secret.”

“Why?”

“She felt like it.”

“Ow, my scapula!” Carl whined.

Jimmy looked ready to throttle me. As for that matter, so did just about everyone else.

I had the grace to look wounded. “Hey, it’s not my fault you took my words to heart. What part of poofers can do anything don’t you understand?”

Nolan tapped my shoulder. “Um, Megan, you do realize you just totally contradicted yourself.”

I nodded gleefully. “That’s the point!”

Cindy looked at me angrily. “So what do we do?”

Suddenly, and for the first time that day, I felt scared. There was only one way to deal with a poofer. And a young, evil poofer at that! I groaned and slapped my head.

“What do we do?” Jimmy demanded.

I bit my lip. “You don’t do anything. I do.”

“What?” they all yelled.

“A battle. A battle of the poofers.” I shook my head. “This won’t be pretty.”

Everyone except Timmy seemed to grasp the extreme not-goodness of this immediately. “Ok, so what? Just go beat Sheen’s little sis and send the clone back to the dark whoosy-whatsit and let me go home!”

I frowned at him. “Let me put this in terms you can understand,” I said, the stress in my voice apparent. “Imagine Jorgen Von Strangle battling Anti-Cosmo. With no rules.”

His eyes bugged out. Now he looked frightened. “This is not good.”

“Now you all should stay here, it’s the safest spot. They don’t know we’re here.” I looked at Nolan. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt,” I added softly.

He grabbed my arm. “You are not going anywhere else without me.” They all connected arms until we stood in a long chain.

“Yeah, we’re not missing a fight!” Sheen cheered.

I laughed, feeling no humor. “It doesn’t work like that.”

*poof*

END CHAPTER SIX


Oh teh noes! What will happen next?! SHEEN HAS A SISTER?!!!???...!!!





:ph43r:

[J/C AVA]

This is getting TENSE!! No one can do anything but watch, the worst kind of help. -_-

Good job. ^_^

[~~Megan~~]

Oh, just wait until the next chapter. Ya'll never seen nothing like a poofer battle before. Well, unless you've witnessed two IDOJers fighting over something. That's similiar. :lol: Anyway, thank you! Unfortunately, all of the above always try and help anyway. When will they learn to listen?

OMG MY STORY'S ON 2 PAGES NOW!!!!!!! SWEET.




:ph43r:

[J/C AVA]

Great job. ^_^

[~~Megan~~]

^_^ Merci beaucoup! :bff:





:ph43r:

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

lol :lol: