Jump to content

Photo
- - - - -

Sheen's Christmas Gift


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 JimmyxxCindy4EVER

JimmyxxCindy4EVER

    I'D forgive you, FJ... <3<3

  • Senior Members
  • 21,413 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Retroville, DUH!! XD

Posted 09 November 2009 - 10:45 PM

Here's my next oneshot, as planned for the November/December challenge. Hope ya like it! It's based on the song The Christmas Shoes by the group Newsong.


Sheen's Christmas Gift


The cell phone was out of reach. Plus, the main phone line was temporarily shorted out on account of the sudden freak blizzard of '01 in the Retroville area of Texas. The only cell phone the Estevez family owned was with Mr. Estevez, and he had it with him while buying emergency supplies in case of a power outage.

The cable had been knocked out, and that meant their home phone temporarily didn't work. There was no cable TV, either, and that meant Sheen couldn't watch UltraLord on TV that day. He was disappointed about that, but there was something of much greater concern on his mind, surprisingly. He was gravely concerned about his mom.

Mrs. Estevez had a weak heart due to a deadly disease she'd contracted when Sheen was conceived, and that disease was the dreaded syphilis. She'd gotten treatment for it, but not before the disease began to attack her heart the previous year.

Sheen was especially concerned for her this time of year because Christmas was fast approaching. He knew that, if she didn't make it by Christmas, he'd have to get her an extra-special gift by Christmas Eve. He was sure he'd saved up enough money to get her something she'd surely appreciate.

It was Christmas Eve, and Sheen still hadn't gotten a chance to buy a Christmas gift for his mom, which might be her last. He hoped his dad would get home soon so they could get her the help she desperately needed. He looked out the window with the help of a chair (he was only 4) and gazed at the snow-covered lawn towards the road impatiently. He looked at his nearby UltraLord digital clock and saw the time read 2:06, then looked out the window again. He kept watch for the next 5 minutes, then he saw his father pull up into their driveway.

"Finally!!" he exclaimed, and ran out of his room, down the stairs, and out of the house to greet his dad, throwing on his coat in the process.

"Hi, Sheen, mi hijo," Mr. Estevez greeted his son as he stepped out of his car and popped the trunk to get the stuff he'd purchased. Then he added, taking out a few of the bags, "Grab the last 2, will ya?"

"Can do, Dad!" Sheen agreed, and helped him carry them inside.

The 2 of them had just finished putting it away when they heard a crash from upstairs and a scream paired with it.

"Oh, no!" Mr. Estevez gasped, making a mad dash up the stairs with Sheen not far behind him, "That was your mother!!"

When they reached her in Mr. and Mrs. Estevez's bedroom, they saw her laying on her back, breathing heavily and gasping for breath. "Ana, my love, are you okay?!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know, Antonio. I've had a rough life ever since Sheen was born. I don't know *gasps* how much longer I'll last," she breathed heavily, coughing a bit.

"Wow, this is more serious than I thought," Mr. Estevez said under his breath, then turned to Sheen and handed him some money, saying in a small voice, "Son, take this and your savings to get your mom a Christmas gift. But hurry back, because there's not much time!"

"I'll do my best, Dad!" Sheen promised, and hurried out of the house.

Across the street, young, 3-year-old Jimmy stood on a chair and watched Sheen run by through the window, wondering why he was in such a hurry.

Right at that moment, Hugh walked into the room and joined his son. "What are you watching, son?" he asked him.

Sounding more like an 8-year-old than a 3-year-old, he replied, "I'm watching Sheen scamper down the road towards our urban city, though I don't have any perception as to why he's headed that way."

"Hmm... I don't know either, Jimbo. Do you want to go with me to do some last minute Christmas shopping?" Hugh wanted to know.

"I'd be delighted, Dad!" Jimmy exclaimed, hopping off the chair and following him to the car. They climbed in and headed toward town.

As they drove through town, they watched for stores that might have something Judy would like. Then Jimmy spotted something and pointed out the window, saying, "How about there, Dad?"

"Perfect, son!" Hugh told him, and parked the car near the shoe store he'd spotted. They got out and walked in, finding themselves behind a fairly long line.

"Dad," he told him in a low voice, pointing at the kid in front of them, "That's Sheen! What's he doing here?!"

"Not sure, Jimmy," Hugh admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

The wait was about 10 minutes, then it was Sheen's turn.

Both Hugh and Jimmy were appalled when they heard Sheen speak up as he placed a fancy pair of red ladies' shoes on the counter near the register, "I'd like these shoes, if you would, please, sir. They're for my mom, and they're just her size. Plus, it's Christmas Eve, but I haven't got much time. She's been sick for a long time, but she'll smile when she sees them. I just want her to look pretty if she meets Jesus tonight."

He dumped out his change and the money his dad gave him and began to count it. When he finished 5 minutes later, he pushed it towards the cashier.

"There's not enough here, son," he told Sheen, and his face fell. He frantically searched his pockets, but there wasn't any left.

So he looked at Hugh and said, "My mom made Christmas great at my place, but she did without most years. What am I gonna do, sir? I've gotta buy her these Christmas shoes somehow!"

Hugh was touched by his story, so he laid down the money he needed; he just had to help him out.

With an unforgettable look on his face, Sheen exclaimed, "My mom's gonna look beautiful! Thank you, sir!!" He then took the shoes and ran out.

Jimmy's heart was touched by his dad's act of kindness, so he commented as Hugh made his purchase, "That was a very benevolent act you did, Dad!"

"That's just what Christmas is all about, son," he told him as they walked out and got in the car.

As they were leaving town, Jimmy caught sight of Sheen running nearby, so he urged, "Dad, pull over this vehicle, please!"

Hugh pulled over to the side of the road. Jimmy rolled down his window and called towards his friend, "Hey, Sheen! Need a lift?"

Sheen nodded, and walked over to the car and got in, still clutching the bag with the shoes in it. "Hurry up, please, Mr. Neutron! My mom's very sick!" he told him urgently.

With that, Hugh sped back to Sheen's place as fast as he could. When he got there, Sheen hopped out and hurried back upstairs as fast as he could, for his mom was fading fast! Hugh quickly parked the car, then he and Jimmy hurried across the street to Sheen's house and upstairs to Sheen's parents' room.

Soon, they were all in the same room together. Antonio was on his knees next to Ana, holding her hand dearly and a worried look on his face.

She barely opened her eyes and saw Sheen had a gift for her. "Oh, Sheen, you're so sweet," she barely whispered, "Thank you."

Ever so gently, her husband placed the shoes on her feet. Sheen knelt down so she could give him and Antonio one last hug and kiss, which she did. Her last words were: "I love you both... so much..." Then she let out a sigh that signaled she'd breathed her last.


I almost got teary-eyed when I was writing this... I hope you enjoyed it, and lemme know what you think. ^_^
  • 0

#2 XstarsandheartsX

XstarsandheartsX

    oh-lookitylook

  • Senior Members
  • 1,589 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Earth...maybe..

Posted 09 November 2009 - 10:56 PM

Awww,I remember watching a movie in the sixth grade based on that song.
That was really sweet. Especially when Sheen was saying how he wanted to buy the shoes so his mom would look pretty if she met Jesus. And when Hugh gave him the money and a ride.
Besides the sweetness, Jimmy using such big words for a three-year-old amused me so much.
  • 0

#3 Beks

Beks

    Achievement Unlocked: Turn Your Tassel

  • Senior Members
  • 9,608 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:USA

Posted 10 November 2009 - 12:17 AM

Why does that song effect me so? :'( Very touching story, Emily. Sheen's mom stories tend to do that to me. ;)
  • 0

#4 Zoey <3

Zoey <3

    “I wont be labeled as average"

  • Senior Members
  • 4,550 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 12 November 2009 - 04:28 AM

great story Emily! I adore that song!
  • 0

#5 JimmyxxCindy4EVER

JimmyxxCindy4EVER

    I'D forgive you, FJ... <3<3

  • Senior Members
  • 21,413 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Retroville, DUH!! XD

Posted 23 November 2009 - 09:16 PM

I appreciate the feedback, though I'd like to see some replies from others who haven't replied to this yet. No pressure, though! I know you'll all reply according to each of your schedules. I can wait. ;)
  • 0

#6 CjIiNmDmYy

CjIiNmDmYy

    Amigop

  • Senior Members
  • 2,442 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling

Posted 28 November 2009 - 03:09 PM

Aww, Emily. That was so sweet, I DID get teary eyed. *sniff*
  • 0

#7 JimmyxxCindy4EVER

JimmyxxCindy4EVER

    I'D forgive you, FJ... <3<3

  • Senior Members
  • 21,413 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Retroville, DUH!! XD

Posted 22 December 2010 - 01:47 AM

The reason I'm reviving this is cuz I just heard The Christmas Shoes on the radio just now, and it reminded me of this oneshot I made. It still, even now, gets me teary-eyed when I hear it and think of the song that goes with it... But it also shows that miracles do happen, even when you least expect it. That's so sweet... *sniff*
  • 0

#8 Mara=^.^=

Mara=^.^=

    Benevolent, All-Seeing Eye

  • Admin
  • 25,844 posts
  • Nickname:Mara
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:VT

Posted 22 December 2010 - 02:22 AM

Aww! :kawaii:

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =
  • 0

#9 NekoGirl

NekoGirl

    He's BACK & better than ever!! ^-^

  • Senior Members
  • 2,243 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 22 December 2010 - 02:30 AM

Identical thoughts Mara!! :kawaii: Em, THIS is what I love, you just don't find that many JN stories like this, you made my day! :hug: :thumbsup:
  • 0

#10 Urvy

Urvy

    Even Ponies Go Insane!

  • Banned
  • 5,131 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Houston, Texas

Posted 22 December 2010 - 02:54 AM

That is a beautiful fic, Em!
  • 0

#11 Katia11

Katia11

    Just me

  • Senior Members
  • 7,190 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Minnesota

Posted 06 February 2011 - 05:36 PM

:) Lovely!!!!!
  • 0

#12 JimmyxxCindy4EVER

JimmyxxCindy4EVER

    I'D forgive you, FJ... <3<3

  • Senior Members
  • 21,413 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Retroville, DUH!! XD

Posted 12 November 2011 - 06:45 PM

Reviving this topic/oneshot in honor of the rapidly-approaching holidays. So, so sweet... :') Also reviving it for those who haven't read this yet. ;)
  • 0

#13 Cinnamon Ninja

Cinnamon Ninja

    Two hearts! Oh, baby, I'm beating out a samba!

  • Members
  • 515 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Somewhere in that part of the world that isn't quite sure if it's a continent or a country.

Posted 12 November 2011 - 07:41 PM

Two things. (Don't get me wrong, I thought it was cute, but here are some things that were a bit iffy for me.)
1) I know it was integral for the plot, but in my opinion I don't think that Sheen would have wasted his Mom's last moments going to the store, even if it was to get her a Christmas gift. The line about her 'looking pretty when she meets Jesus' explains things a bit more, and I guess he was only four and his dad told him to go, but...well, if it was my mum that was dying, I'd be a little more worried than Sheen and his dad seemed to be. ;)
2) In that bit where Sheen's mum was struggling for breath, I think it was a little unprofessional of you to put *gasps* in the middle of her sentence. It's okay for RP's, but it isnt the sort of thing that should be in stories. Show, not tell, y'know?
Otherwise, very cute work! I really liked Hugh in this, I could completely see him doing that. Aside from Jimmy's opening sentence, I thought his lines were all quite good too. Nice work! :)
  • 0

#14 mike

mike

    Magic winx!!!

  • Members
  • 10 posts
  • Nickname:laura
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:united states aka mexico

Posted 09 November 2022 - 11:53 AM

woah libby she loves with her boyfriend s ultralord


  • 0




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users