110 replies to this topic

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

OMG, this is gonna be HILARIOUS!!!!! I mean, SHEEN & CARL dancing with JIMMY???!!!!! OMG, that's RICH!!!! Poor Cindy. But, I'm sure she'll get the best part in the end, just like the original Cinderella story! I wonder what/who Goddard's gonna be... Maybe, like Athena suggested, the fairy godmother (ROFL, more like MECHANICAL fairy godFATHER!!!!)! THAT'D be a sight, Goddard sprouting wings & holding a WAND!!!!!!! I can tell this is gonna be HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!! Great WORK!!!! Can't WAIT for Part 3!!!!!!!!!

[RocksmySocks]

Thanks again, everyone! :lol:

@ Jessi - haha, nah. No competition amongst the Writer Clan!

@ Mary - thanks! I'm glad you found it to your amusement.

@ Oreocookieclouds - eep, I forgot your name! But thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it.

@ Amelia - lol, yay for epic laughter fits.

@ Angel - thanks for reviewing again! Haha, try not to hyperventilate TOO much.

@ Pigquet - holy cow, that's a loooong reply! LOL, but I love you for it, Pigquet! :lol: Reading that made me sooo happy. I'm so glad you are enjoying this. And yes, the shoe thing, haha. That was the intention!




Okay! On with Part 3. I'm nervous about posting this part. This is where the JC scene comes in that you may have heard me randomly freaking out about writing for the past two weeks. I hope it doesn't get too sappy. Again, I'm trying hard for it to follow Season 3, so it is sort of at that "level". Ugh, lol. So nervous!

Er...so anyway. Yes. Last part. Here we go.



Cindyrella: Part Three


“Goddard! What are you doing – ” Cindy slammed a hand over her mouth, stopping herself from a very out-of-character sentence.

Goddard looked quite pleased with himself. He opened up the front of his chest chamber, and wrote on the screen: “I AM YOUR FAIRY DOG-MOTHER.”

Cindy gaped. “My Fairy…Dog-Mother? But, how did you get here?”

“YOU CALLED.”

“I – I guess I did, didn’t I?” Cindy said in amazement. She sat down on a large cushioned chair, brushing a strand of dirt-covered blonde hair behind her ear. “I was getting worried that we would get stuck at this point, with no Fairy God-Mother – er, Dog-Mother to come along. I guess this means the machine sucked you in, too, huh?”

Goddard barked an affirmation and wagged his tail.

The blonde girl smiled. “So, can you help me get to the ball tonight?” Cindy asked, getting straight to the point.

“AS LONG AS YOU LEAVE BY MIDNIGHT.”

Cindy nodded and smiled. “Not a problem, Fairy Dog-Mother. Oh, and by chance, you don’t happen to have a pair of glass slippers with you, do you?”

A gloved hand extended from Goddard’s back, giving her a thumbs-up. Winking, Goddard released a burst of fabric, glitter, and flowers from a secret compartment, exploding the items around the room like a tornado of elegance.

* * * * *

Jimmy was having a great deal of difficulty staying in character as Libby, Sheen, and Carl arrived at the ball. His lips were pursed and his cheeks inflated and red, in an attempt to contain his laughter.

Libby was dressed quite nicely, in a yellow lacey gown, with marigold accents in her bows and sashes. But Carl and Sheen, well…they were another story altogether.

Sheen strutted in proudly, hips swaying in his powder blue satin dress, which was poofed out in all the right places. A sparkling sapphire necklace lay around his neck. Carl followed behind him, in an off-white gown, adorned with a sash of pale pink flowers around his waist and along the edging. A matching pink flower barrette sat atop Carl’s red hair, and the large boy had never looked daintier.

Jimmy did his best to keep his mouth from gaping open as the trio curtsied.

“Er…welcome,” he finally managed to say without laughing. “Welcome to the ball,” he said, his voice more assured. “Please, enjoy yourself, and join the other guests on the dance floor.” Jimmy gestured behind him where a crowd of smartly dressed people spun and twirled surrounded by chandelier light.

Libby nodded, “Thank you, your Highness. We look forward to this evening of – ” she paused, glancing sharply behind Jimmy. Sheen was marching up to a girl on the ballroom floor who was wearing a dress identical to his, rolling up his sleeves and narrowing his eyes. “Um…please excuse me,” she said, bowing again, before racing after her rogue ‘daughter’, shouting angrily.

Carl waved shyly, then pranced off after Libby.

Jimmy shook his head, rolling his eyes. He turned back to the door, “Now that has to have been the creepiest thing I’ve ever…” his voice trailed off, staring at the silhouette in the doorframe. His mouth dropped open for the second time that night, but this time for an entirely different reason.

Cindy entered the ballroom gracefully, but her eyes betrayed her nervousness. She wore an emerald green gown, which sparkled around the small waist before leading to a large flowing skirt. She walked towards the center of the room and self-consciously adjusted the bun her hair was wrapped up in when she noticed the boy genius standing in wait for her. Her eyes seemed to melt a little as they settled on Jimmy in his royal attire. To cover up, she quickly curtsied and bowed her head.

“Uh…uh…” Jimmy stuttered, clearly taken by surprise, despite knowing fully how the story was supposed to play out. “Welcome to the ball, my lady,” he said, barely keeping up with his character.

Cindy raised her head, an expression of determination now set on her face. “Thank you, your Highness.”

There was an awkward silence between the two, and after a few moments Cindy’s patience began to wear thin. She set her eyes into a glare and jerked her head toward the dance floor.

Jimmy blinked in surprise. “Right! Dancing. Storyline. Right.” The words tumbled out, but he still did not budge an inch.

Cindy rolled her eyes. “Yes, of course I accept your invitation to dance, your Highness,” she said pointedly, taking his arm and dragging him off towards the other dancers.

As they began to waltz, Jimmy immediately tripped over himself a couple of times, his eyes never leaving the girl in front of him. Cindy sighed in exasperation. “Will you stop gawking and get back into character before we get kicked out of the story again?” she hissed in his ear.

That seemed to snap Jimmy out of it. “Gawking?” he asked in offense. “I am not gawking, I was simply…er…trying to act the part of the Prince, is all.”

“Uh huh,” Cindy said, thoroughly unconvinced. There was something akin to a victory glint in her eye. “I am pretty sure that royalty would know how to stop their eyes from falling out of their heads.”

Jimmy began spinning Cindy faster, his irritation bubbling up through his dancing. “It was just an attempt to enact the infatuation the Prince is meant to experience upon meeting Cinderella-”

Cindy’s eyes narrowed. “An act?” she asked, pulling their dance to a halt. “Just an act? What, so you have to pretend that I’m actually pretty?”

“What?!” Jimmy stepped back in surprise. “No! I mean…yes and no…I mean, I’m just trying to – listen, you’re the one who is speaking out of character right now, not me!”

“ME?!” Cindy said incredulously, letting go of Jimmy’s arms completely. “ME! Do you know how long I’ve had to play this part? And how many times I’ve had to perform over and over? You just STARTED your lines, and you’re already messing them up!”

Jimmy threw his hands up in a cautionary gesture. “Cindy, careful, you’re going to get us –”

“Going to what, Neutron, get us kicked out?” Cindy ranted loudly, “Well if I do, then it’s your fault!”

“WARNING – ” a voice began to boom.

Libby raced over to the shouting duo, panic crossing her face. “GUYS! KNOCK IT OFF OR WE HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN!”

“STRAYING FROM PLOT. RESTART INITIA – ”

“WAIT!” Jimmy and Cindy shouted simultaneously.

The booming voice paused and the room fell silent, as all attention settled on the previously arguing pair. Jimmy and Cindy stared at one another, each forcing their expression back to one of civility.

Taking a deep breath, Jimmy spoke. “I…I would be honored if you would join me in a dance, my lady.”

Cindy considered him carefully, before finally agreeing. “I accept, your Highness.”

Libby, Carl, and Sheen held their breath as the pair moved onto the ballroom floor, but there was not another angry word uttered.

The two spun silently at first, neither looking one another in the eye. Sheen and Carl stared onwards, equally silent until Sheen whispered, “Five bucks Jimmy’ll mess this up first.”

Carl clasped Sheen’s hand and shook it. “You’re on!” he whispered back.

Libby rolled her eyes. “Will you two can it? We might actually get through this.”

Back on the dance floor, Cindy and Jimmy were still avoiding one another’s gaze. Cindy’s eyes held the unmistakable steely defenses she usually surrounded herself with, while Jimmy’s eyes fluttered about in a kind of panic.

Swallowing, the short boy seemed to reach a decision. “I…Cindy, I’m sorry if you were offended earlier.”

Cindy froze, causing their dance to momentarily be tripped up. She looked at Jimmy, more than a little shocked. “Well, I…” she tried to start, then paused. “Er…thank you, Jimmy. I…” she bit her lip in uncertainty and glanced over at the trio of the remaining gang members, who were watching them like one would watch the end of an action movie. “I’m sorry, too. I might have overreacted.”

Jimmy opened his mouth, as if to give a smart remark, then closed it. “Thank you, Cindy,” he said instead, smiling warmly. “And you do look very pretty, tonight,” he added, in his best suave tone.

Cindy blushed as a very silly grin plastered itself across her face. “Oh, Neutron, you are such a –”

Suddenly, a deep bell rang out, interrupting Cindy before she could finish that thought.

Cindy’s mouth fell open. “The clock!” she gasped. The pair turned to check the large grandfather clock in the hall, which had both hands pointing straight up. “It’s midnight! I…I have to go.” She looked back at Jimmy, eyebrows knitting in disappointment.

Jimmy’s face fell, his mouth twitching as if searching for the right words for her to stay.

“I…I have to,” Cindy said again, dropping her hand from his. She gave him one last sad look, then turned and raced from the hall.

“Cindy! Wait!” Jimmy yelled, the realization of what was going on finally sinking in. “Wait!”

Cindy raced down the stairs, tripping towards the bottom. She hopped back to her feet, then looked down and rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Oh, come on. Do I have to do everything myself?”

Both feet were still clad in the glass slippers she had been wearing all evening. Reaching down, she yanked one off and chucked it up the stairs, accidentally beaning the doorman over the head.

“Sorry!” she yelled up, awkwardly, and then ran off.

Jimmy finally made it to the stair case, but Cindy was long gone. He bent down and picked up the slipper that lay next to his unconscious doorman. Letting out an audible sigh, Jimmy turned around and headed back inside.

* * * * *

“I’m telling you, it fits!” Sheen’s coarse voice rang out, as he tried to jam his foot into the petite glass slipper in front of him.

“Listen, and I mean no offense by this, but if yours is the foot that this slipper belongs to, then I’m THE DALAI LAMA!” Jimmy yelled in frustration.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, your Highness. There is no such thing as a dolly llama,” Carl chimed in from the other side of the room, where he sat icing a badly bruised foot from earlier slipper-based escapades. “Now, a dolly alpaca, that I can see…”

Jimmy tore the slipper off Sheen’s foot, who gave a very loud shout of pain. “Can one of you please just take me to the girl whose slipper this is?!” he asked, sounding quite exasperated.

Just then, there was the distinct sound of a door being karate-kicked open.

“Ugh, they just don’t make padlocks like they used to!” Libby pouted, putting her hands on her hips. “Uh...just ignore her, your Highness” she said nervously, as Cindy stormed down into the room. “She’s just the help. A servant girl. Please excuse her disruption – ”

“Sorry, your Highness, I don’t mean to interrupt,” Cindy said, curtseying. “I just thought that you might like the match to that slipper.” The blonde girl held up a second glass slipper, which sparkled as it caught the light.

Jimmy gave a very large smile, and offered up the slipper for Cindy to try on. Her foot slid into it perfectly.

“I knew it! It was you at the ball!” he exclaimed, taking her dramatically in his arms. “Come! We shall be wed, and you shall be my Queen!”

“Yes,” Cindy said, her face aglow and her voice theatrical. “Nothing would make me happier, your Highness!”

The booming voice spoke again, a sentence none of them had heard before:

“AND THEY ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END.”

With that, the gang was sucked back into the darkness.

* * * * *

Five sets of eyeballs could be seen blinking in confusion.

“What? What is this?” Cindy’s angry voice could be heard cutting through their black surroundings. “We’re back at the beginning again?!”

“Ahhhh! No!” Sheen shouted in frustration. “I’m TIRED of being my Chickipoo’s daughter! That’s just WRONG!”

Jimmy put a hand to his forehead. “Upon completion of an archetypal plotline, we should have been returned to our original universe,” he pondered aloud, “This makes no sense, statistical or otherwise!” he said, clearly confused.

“Well, it had better START making sense, Neutron,” Cindy threatened.

“Yeah,” Libby said, “You’re going to make me miss the premiere of Smallie Big Big’s new music video!”

“And my mom wants me home by dinnertime,” Carl added.

Jimmy paced back and forth. “Alright, I have an idea, but let me figure something out first.” He looked up. “Computer!” he said loudly, “Why were we not returned upon completion of the story?”

“Wow, what a great plan,” Cindy said, rolling her eyes. “It’s got to take a genius to decide to just ask the computer to tell us what we need to do.”

“COMPLETING THE STORY WILL NOT ALLOW YOUR RETURN.”

Jimmy sighed. “Yes, we figured that out. What CAN we do to get home?”

“YOU CANNOT GO HOME. YOU MUST REPLAY THE STORY. OVER. AND OVER.”

The gang gasped in a mixture of panic and accusations.

Jimmy held his hands up to calm everyone down. “Now wait just a minute, nobody panic! There has to be a way out of this.”

Goddard suddenly barked, trying to get Jimmy’s attention.

“What is it, boy?” Jimmy asked, bending down.

Goddard opened up the front of his chest to reveal his green screen. “RESET.”

Jimmy stared for a moment, then his face broke out into a relieved grin. “That’s it, Goddard! We just need to reset the machine!”

Carl fiddled with his fingers nervously. “And how exactly are we going to do that, Jim? Seeing as we’re inside it and all...”

Jimmy smirked. “Simple. We’ll crash the system. Confuse the machine so that it doesn’t know what storyline to follow anymore.”

Cindy narrowed her eyes. “Now wait a moment. How do you know that when the system crashes, it won’t take us down with it?”

Jimmy shrugged. “I don’t know that. But it’s the only plan we have, and we have to try something.”

“Uh, Jimmy?” Sheen asked. “I still have no idea what the plan is.”

“It’s easy, Sheen,” Jimmy explained. “All we have to do is act out different stories. We each pick half a dozen, and spout lines at random. The machine will become so confused, it won’t be able to operate, and will HAVE to reboot!”

“Oh, I get it. Awesome!” Sheen grinned. “When can we start?”

“The sooner the better,” the short boy answered. “Everyone ready to do this?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah…”

“Alright, yeah...”

“Sure. Fine. Whatever. Let’s go crash the computer we’re currently trapped inside. This will be fun.” Cindy said, her tone flat.

Jimmy purposefully ignored her. “Okay, guys. Everyone move toward the light in three…two…one…”

The five kids took a step forward, and were zapped out into the story once again.

* * * * *

“It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s ULTRALORD, in his first big screen adventure! Soaring into theaters this summer!” Sheen ran by, arms out as if in flight, his purple skirt billowing out behind him.

Carl took a step forward and gulped awkwardly. “Uh…uh…” he stammered, trying to come up with a line. “Um…”

Libby climbed up on the table and placed her hands on her heart. “Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

Sheen did a 180 at that, and ran back toward his girl, leaping from the Ultralord pose and sliding across the wooden table on his stomach. “You called?” he asked Libby, waggling his eyebrows, his neck craned up at a very awkward angle in order to look her.

Libby rolled her eyes. “Nice try.” She glanced over at her friend, who was watching on dubiously. “Oh, come on, Cindy. Just give it a chance.”

The blonde girl sighed. “Okay, fine. Let it be known on the record that I am doing this for you, Libby, and not for any other reason.” With that, Cindy threw her hand up against her forehead dramatically and fell desperately against the wall. “Rhett, Rhett, whatever shall I do? Wherever shall I go?”

“That’s it!” Libby cheered her friend on. “Alright, Carl, it’s your turn!”

Carl’s eyes darted back and forth, “Um…uh…”

Sheen took that moment to leap off the table and dump a bucket of water over his head. “I’m SIIIIIIINGING in the rain!” he shouted, prancing around the room. “Just siiiiiiiiiinging in the rain! What a gloooooooorious feeling! I’m hap-hap-happy again!”

Jimmy busted his way into the room, looking as if he had run a long distance. “Good grief, this house is a long way to walk from the castle,” he heaved, then looked around the room in mild amusement. Cindy was dramatically reciting lines from the closing scene of Casablanca, Libby was belting out the chorus from “Hopelessly Devoted To You”, while Sheen was saber-dueling with an invisible adversary, shouting something about how he’d never be his father.

“Goddard, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” Jimmy said, grinning. Leaping forward, he joined in the fun. “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads!”

“Hey, Jimmy!” Sheen shouted, excitedly. “Wanna see my impression of Sauron?”

Before Jimmy could utter an answer, Sheen jumped on a chair and wiggled his fingers around his face. “I’m a giant EYEBALL! FEAR ME, mortal, if you value your pathetic little life!”

“WARNING: STRAYING FROM PLOT. RESTART INITIA-”

“Quick, if you believe in fairies, clap your hands!” Cindy said, cutting off the computer.

“That’s some pig!” Libby added, for good measure.

“WARNING: STRAYING FROM PLOT. RESTART – ”

“When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way,” Jimmy sang in a rush, giving Sheen a thumbs up.

“The HIIIIIIIIIIILLS are aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive!” Sheen’s scratchy voice sang out, “With the sound of muuuuuuuuuuuusiiiiiiiic!”

“WARNING! WARNING! STRAYING…STRAYING…”

“I’ll never let go, Jack! I’ll never let go…” Libby said, choking up.

“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse,” Cindy said in her best Godfather voice.

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner!” Sheen yelled, slamming his fist on the table.

“WARNING! STRAY – WARNING – PLOT –STRAYING – ”

“Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings,” Jimmy interrupted, brightly.

“E.T. PHONE HOME…” Sheen said, warping his voice.

“PLOT – RESTART – WARNING – START – ”

“We’ve almost got it, guys!” Jimmy yelled, excitedly. “Come on, Carl, give us some help!”

Carl looked absolutely panicked. Wringing his hands, he let out a whimper and shut his eyes. “Um…uh…there’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”

“That’s it!” Jimmy encouraged.

“There’s no place like home!” his voice began to rise in volume. “There’s no place like home! THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!” Carl shouted.

Suddenly, the computer’s booming voice puttered out, and the scene around the kids fell apart into pixels as the last unintelligible words from the Warning Voice died out completely.

A bright yellow light flashed and the gang abruptly found themselves sprawled about on the floor of Jimmy’s lab.

Libby sat up first, holding a hand to her head. “Whoa. Now that was a messed up afternoon,” she said, rubbing her temple. Goddard barked his agreement.

“We’re back!” Carl exclaimed, leaping to his feet and hopping back and forth. “I don’t have to be a girl anymore, I don’t have to be a girl anymore!” he sang excitedly, dancing about.

Jimmy and Sheen both climbed to their feet next. “What a relief,” Jimmy said, as Sheen shook his head back and forth to clear his brain from everything that had just happened.

“Seriously, man,” Sheen added, double checking to make sure he was wearing pants once again. “Let’s chalk one up for HERE COME NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS.”

Cindy stood up last, and without saying a word, walked over to the A.E. 4.0 and unplugged it. “We are never, ever, going to do that again,” she stated coldly, shaking the head of the plug in the gang’s direction to make her point. Narrowing her eyes, she marched up to Jimmy. “And you,” she stuck a finger in his chest. “You are going to dismantle that thing PRONTO, or I’LL dismantle it FOR YOU.”

To add emphasis, she spun and karate-kicked a box of lugnuts all over the floor. “You got that?”

“Cindy, lighten up, girl,” Libby said, interrupting Jimmy from an indignant outburst of his own. “We got out, didn’t we? And you can’t complain too much. You DID get a dance with Jimmy out of the deal.” Libby smirked and put a hand on her hip.

Cindy’s mouth gaped open and close like a fish. Jimmy’s face went beet red and he looked away quickly.

“Libby,” Cindy finally said, with a growl under her voice that suspiciously sounded like a volcano about to explode. “Can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

“Er,” Libby laughed nervously. “Nevermind, girl. Forget I said anything.”

Carl tapped Jimmy on the shoulder, looking concerned. “Jim?” the large boy asked. “Why is your face all red? Are you allergic to transdemented machines? Because I was thinking I might be.”



THE END!

(“I have some cream for that if you need it, Jim.”)











So that's it! Thanks again for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I know the last part isn't as funny as the first two sections, but I did have to get around to actually following the plot eventually, lol.



Woohoo! I've officially finished my second Jimmy Neutron fanfic!


-Katie :ahoy:

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

That...was.......AWESOME!!!!! Let's all bask in the awesomeness that is Katie!!!! *bows repeatedly*

I especially loved the quote:

“Goddard, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” Jimmy said, grinning. Leaping forward, he joined in the fun. “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads!”

Gah, Back to the Future is my FAVE time-traveling movie!!!! Nice choice of movie quotage there!!!! ;) This fic ROCKED, Katie!! Can't wait 'till you do Ep 3!!!!!

:Sheen: :rock:

UGH!!! *slaps forehead* Sheen, will ya EVER learn????!!! Now, PUT that thing DOWN before someone gets hurt!!! HOW many times do I have to tell ya???!!

[rumorgirl1983]

GREAT JOB! That was beyond awesome. Thank you for giving us a season four through fanfiction.

Looking forward to episode 3. Take care and talk soon!

[SweeneyxxTodd]

pffffft

haaaaaahaha

So epic. So ridiculously epic.

“I’m telling you, it fits!” Sheen’s coarse voice rang out, as he tried to jam his foot into the petite glass slipper in front of him.

“Listen, and I mean no offense by this, but if yours is the foot that this slipper belongs to, then I’m THE DALAI LAMA!” Jimmy yelled in frustration.

:lol: :lol:

I kept laughing at random times. I bet my sister wondered what the heck I was doing.

Hahaha that scene rocked :rock:

It had to be quoted for the fact that I can twist it into a JS quote if I try hard enough. :D

I can't wait for episode three Katie!!!

[Beks]

I told you everyone would like it! :P

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

And you were right! ;)

[RocksmySocks]

Thanks so much, everyone!!!

^_^


@ Celeste - thank you for the sweet comments!

@ Amelia - :lol: I'm glad I could make you laugh once again!

@ Brit - Yay! I'm so happy you liked it. Thanks for stopping by to read it! I'll seeya around!

@ Mary - LOL...yeah, JS, haha. Sorry I couldn't make them have that dance sequence you were after. I'm glad you found amusement anyway. :D

@ Beks - haha, okay, okay. :P

@ Pigquet - Yes, it had to be done. For you, it had to be done. :lol:



Thanks again everyone!

I'm not yet sure when I'll start up Episode 3. It...probably won't be until the Spring because this semester is CRAZY busy. But we'll see! I might get desperate for distractions and start it sooner. B)


-Katie :ahoy:

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Anyone know where Gretchen is?? She hasn't updated her fic, JN: BG, Big Bro, in, like, AGES! If you find her, could you ask her to update for anyone who LOVES this fic, such as myself??? Many thx!!! ;)

And, yeah, the story was AWESOME!!!!!! :bff:

[J/C AVA]

HOLLY FICS!!!!!!!!! :kawaii: :kawaii: :kawaii:

THAT WAS AWESOME KATIE!!! From the many refrences to many succesful movies, to the plot twists, to the absolutly HILARIOUS jokes all over, and all this while keeping EVERYONE in character!!! :dance: :dance: :dance:

I seriously can't priase you enough Kaite!!! I LOVE IT!! I REALLY LOVE IT!! :kawaii: :thumbsup:

[jeh517]

You did a great job on Cindyerella Rockmysocks. I have a couple of suggestions for your JN Season 4 fic series.

[Mara=^.^=]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...you're a genius Katie!
A mad-scientist-writer-archaeologist genius! I bow down before your mind-boggling skills!

And now for the excessively long commentary...

Dedicated to Mara and Beks - Happy Birthday, you two

Aww, muchas gracias senorita! :kawaii:

“YES! I’ve always WANTED an Antiseptic Retainer!”

So have I Sheen, so have I...

It’s something to distract you all while I am working on my delicate inventions, since it has come to my attention that I tend to make my biggest mistakes when any number of you get in the way during the critical stages of development.

Ohlol :rolleyes: It's about time he came up with something like this. Think about all the situations involving mutant 50-foot-teachers and rampaging pants that could have been avoided... ;)

Cindy’s jaw dropped as she noticed Carl, Sheen, and Libby gathering around the new invention, pointing, grinning, and, in some cases, drooling.

hee hee, I like that you didn't specify WHO was doing the drooling... o:)

Cindy’s eyes narrowed. “I’m watching you, Neutron. Very carefully,”

I BET you are

“Jimmy, what is that weird tube that looks like it could suck out our very souls from our mere mortal bodies?”

**Chokes on the water I was drinking**

It will take a chemo-thermo-optic-sensitive reading of the room’s occupants

Way to overwhelm the reader with techno-jargon! :thumbsup:

Cindy was leafing through a pamphlet titled ‘Empowerment of the Female Gender Through Advanced Martial Arts’.

YESS~! :rock: (great characterization on all fronts, by the way...)

Sheen still just looked like he was going to wet himself if he did not get to push a button soon.

OK, I'm seriously laughing my ass off right now.

chance to argue otherwise.
“You looked like the biggest chicken to ever roost in a kingdom of chickens – ”
“ – Where a Queen Chicken rules with mighty feather duster and calls her lands the ‘Coop of the sissy-wussy-yellow-bellied-scaredy-cat– ” Sheen counted each insult off on a finger. “-Cowardly-lily-livered-pansy-wimpy-itty-bitty-baaaaaaaaby – AHHHHHH!”

:blink: ... :lol: Genius!

like some geeked up version of Niagara Falls!

Possibly the best description of Sheen Estevez that mine eyes have e'er beheld...

Libby held out her hands drastically. “Girl, you know my nail polish isn’t dry yet! Now get in there and stop them before they get hurt!”

Since I am a compulsive nail-decorator, I pull a less ridiculous version of this action all the time.
IPSITA: Mara, come do such-and-such a thing!
MARA: I caaaaan't! My nails are wet!

“I pushed a button I was only strongly suggested not to push,” Sheen finished,

My amusement, it knows no bounds...

“Whoa, this feels just like a swirly –!”

The sensor let out a satisfied burp as the light and wind died down in the lab.

Haha, this reminds me of that scene in Quest for Camelot when the whirlpool and stump monster devour 2 of Ruper's goonies....ringing any bells? No?

“I’m BORED! This place is like, worse than the library.”

:o Sacrilege! :angrymob:

“So, uh, Jim, where exactly did we get transdemented to?”

Transdemented = New. Favorite. Word.

“Yeah, and I’m also stuck there WITH a horribly obnoxious Vortex of frustration…”

**Air punch** Oh! I so knew that one was coming! :dance:

“Oh hey, guys!” Libby interrupted, pointing. “Look, there’s a light over there!”

No Harry...don't look at the light!
I can't help it, it's so beeeautifullll...ZZZAAPAHHHHHHH!

COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Darn you, capitalism!


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

-buckles down for part 2-

He flipped to the beginning of the book. “Once upon a time,” he began to read out loud, “There lived a young girl, whose evil stepmother treated her no better than a slave, forcing her to sleep in the soot of the fireplace. This led her stepsisters to give her the cruel nickname of Cin…” Jimmy’s voice trailed off, jaw dropping and eyes widening in panic as he stared at the book. The picture on the first page showed a familiar blonde girl dressed in rags and covered in ashes. Slowly, Jimmy looked down at his own princely attire, realization dawning on him.

The book fell from his hands onto the floor.

BAHAHAHA! So brilliant. So, so brilliant. I can totally picture this, exactly as if it were happening on the show. I love the inversion of the traditional Cinderella-prince relationship, and the subversion of the whole darn thing by having the Prince RECOGNIZE what he was getting himself into ahead of time, and strongly objecting to it. Serious props Katie.

The rest of the gang found themselves standing in a stone floor dining room. Cindy scowled, trying to brush the soot out of her torn clothes. “What is going on here? Why am I covered in filth?” she asked, angrily.

LOL, Cindy would be such an uppity aristocrat in real life **cue crusty British snob accent" Ugh! What iiiis this filth??

Carl’s face turned beet red as he put his hands on the hips of his yellow frilly dress. “Hey, I’m not the only one cross-dressed here, Sheen!” he accused.
Sheen blinked for a moment, processing that statement, and then looked down in horror. “AHHH!” he screamed, eyeing the lacey purple skirt billowing out from his thin waist.

Sheen. Carl. Crossdressing. It doesn't get any better than this!

Suddenly, a computerized voice boomed out. “WARNING: STRAYING FROM PLOT. RESTART HAS BEEN INITIATED.”

Oh! I was so not expecting that! :o Excellent plot twist! Way to usher in the conflict!

disembowel our souls and teach us to yodel!

...interesting juxtaposition :blink:

Cindy looked a little concerned and more than a little freaked out. “Libby…how did you know that?”

I KNEW Libby was watching Ultralord with Sheen! I knew it!
AAAH, the disease is spreading! :onfire: Ultralord fan status...it's an STD!!

“I prefer to think of it as ‘Masculinely Challenged’,” Sheen said, buffing his nails up against his shirt.

“Well, aren’t you just a little ray of sunshine,” Cindy commented.

Man, you just fulfilled one of my fandreams. I always wanted Cindy to say something like this. Thank you, Katie's season 4.

After the sixteenth restart, Cindy was just about foaming at the mouth.

I sincerely hope Sheen and Carl never get roles in the school play...

Cindy scrubbing floors.
Libby yelling at Cindy.
Sheen and Carl chasing each other wearing frocks.
Breakfast spilling.
Cindy cleaning.

Very clever way to move the plot forward. I always have trouble finding "time-killing" strategies (hence my 200+ page fanfic), but you've done a very nice job.

Sheen and Carl laughed mockingly. “Yeah RIGHT!” Sheen said gleefully. “Like you could ever compete with us as a maiden worthy of royalty.” The two boys snickered at her misfortune, the irony of the situation completely lost on them.

Words cannot describe my amusement right now...

A moment later, the transdimensionalizer sucked him in, and the lab was once again empty.

On the screen of the A.E. 4.0, a very surprised Cindy jumped backwards.

Yesss! The Fairy Goddardfather! -shot-

**runs off to read part 3**


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[Mara=^.^=]

[quote] “I AM YOUR FAIRY DOG-MOTHER.”[/quote]
Goddardfather, dogmother...close enough :rolleyes:

[quote]“AS LONG AS YOU LEAVE BY MIDNIGHT.”[/quote]
**wags finger** Follow yer curfew, young laaady!

[quote]Winking, Goddard released a burst of fabric, glitter, and flowers from a secret compartment, exploding the items around the room like a tornado of elegance.[/quote]
...I didn't know Goddard could wink. :blink:

[quote]
Sheen strutted in proudly, hips swaying in his powder blue satin dress, which was poofed out in all the right places. A sparkling sapphire necklace lay around his neck. Carl followed behind him, in an off-white gown, adorned with a sash of pale pink flowers around his waist and along the edging. A matching pink flower barrette sat atop Carl’s red hair, and the large boy had never looked daintier. [/quote]

All my fandreams are coming true!! :kawaii: Actually, Carl's outfit sounds adorable

[quote]Sheen was marching up to a girl on the ballroom floor who was wearing a dress identical to his, rolling up his sleeves and narrowing his eyes.  [/quote]
Yes. Just YES.

[quote]
As they began to waltz, Jimmy immediately tripped over himself a couple of times, his eyes never leaving the girl in front of him. [/quote]
Smooth.

[quote]“It was just an attempt to enact the infatuation the Prince is meant to experience upon meeting Cinderella-”
[/quote]
I believe there is an inverse relationship between Jimmy's comfort level and the amount of scientific blabbage to which he resorts...

[quote]“Five bucks Jimmy’ll mess this up first.”[/quote]
I'd totally put my money on that ;)

[quote]Cindy’s eyes held the unmistakable steely defenses she usually surrounded herself with, while Jimmy’s eyes fluttered about in a kind of panic. [/quote]
For some reason I envision Jimmy looking somewhat like this emoticon: :wacko:

[quote]Jimmy opened his mouth, as if to give a smart remark, then closed it. “Thank you, Cindy,” he said instead, smiling warmly. “And you do look very pretty, tonight,” he added, in his best suave tone.

Cindy blushed as a very silly grin plastered itself across her face. “Oh, Neutron, you are such a –”[/quote]
WARNING. WARNING. HEIGHT OF SAPPINESS HAS BEEN REACHED. SYSTEM OVERLOAD. CORE MELTDOWN IN 15 SECONDS.
(Just kidding. This was handled very well)

[quote] Reaching down, she yanked one off and chucked it up the stairs, accidentally beaning the doorman over the head. [/quote]
And the judges give her a Perfect 10! *.*

[quote]“Listen, and I mean no offense by this, but if yours is the foot that this slipper belongs to, then I’m THE DALAI LAMA!” Jimmy yelled in frustration. [/quote]
**Chokes on drink, take 2**

[quote]“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, your Highness. There is no such thing as a dolly llama,” [/quote]
Oh! oh! DollyLlama! That is SO my username on Artgrounds! :rock:

[quote]“I knew it! It was you at the ball!” he exclaimed, taking her dramatically in his arms. “Come! We shall be wed, and you shall be my Queen!”

“Yes,” Cindy said, her face aglow and her voice theatrical. “Nothing would make me happier, your Highness!”[/quote]
Ohlol. I can totally picture Cindy's eyelashes fluttering dramatically...

[quote]“Ahhhh! No!” Sheen shouted in frustration. “I’m TIRED of being my Chickipoo’s daughter! That’s just WRONG!”[/quote]
**Pats Sheen's shoulder comfortingly** I feel that. My Mom's dating a 25 year old. I totally know where you're coming from.

[quote]“Yeah,” Libby said, “You’re going to make me miss the premiere of Smallie Big Big’s new music video!”[/quote]
YESSS! Smallie Big Big! Officially a staple of JN fanfiction. You know, it's funny...Msrandom first created that character in "Tomb of Doom", and he was later mentioned in TOSOT. And now you've brought him into season 4...well played! :thumbsup:

[quote]“YOU CANNOT GO HOME. YOU MUST REPLAY THE STORY. OVER. AND OVER.”[/quote]
OhMai. I was not expecting that. :ph43r:

[quote]“It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s ULTRALORD, in his first big screen adventure! Soaring into theaters this summer!” Sheen ran by, arms out as if in flight, his purple skirt billowing out behind him.

Carl took a step forward and gulped awkwardly. “Uh…uh…” he stammered, trying to come up with a line. “Um…”

Libby climbed up on the table and placed her hands on her heart. “Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

Sheen did a 180 at that, and ran back toward his girl, leaping from the Ultralord pose and sliding across the wooden table on his stomach. “You called?” he asked Libby, waggling his eyebrows, his neck craned up at a very awkward angle in order to look her. [/quote]

SWEET JEESUS. This is without a doubt the BEST climax to any story I have ever read. I am in stitches here. The references...they are too good for words! Katie, this story just got +100 coolpoints. Better yet, it has been upgraded to "this would have been the best episode ever" status.

[quote] “Rhett, Rhett, whatever shall I do? Wherever shall I go?”
[/quote]
Nice callback to "Rhett! I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!"

[quote]
“Hey, Jimmy!” Sheen shouted, excitedly. “Wanna see my impression of Sauron?”

Before Jimmy could utter an answer, Sheen jumped on a chair and wiggled his fingers around his face. “I’m a giant EYEBALL! FEAR ME, mortal, if you value your pathetic little life!”[/quote]
I laughed. So hard.

[quote]“The HIIIIIIIIIIILLS are aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive!” Sheen’s scratchy voice sang out, “With the sound of muuuuuuuuuuuusiiiiiiiic!”[/quote]
**covers ears to shut out the horror that is Sheen's singing voice**

[quote]
“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse,” Cindy said in her best Godfather voice.[/quote]
This makes me want to write a Godfather parody fic. Cindy would make SUCH a bitchin mob boss...

[quote]“We’re back!” Carl exclaimed, leaping to his feet and hopping back and forth. “I don’t have to be a girl anymore, I don’t have to be a girl anymore!” he sang excitedly, dancing about.[/quote]
That's what YOU think...

[quote]Cindy’s mouth gaped open and close like a fish. [/quote]


[quote](“I have some cream for that if you need it, Jim.”)
[/quote]
I'll refrain from commenting at this time... :P



...Wow, Katie. Just wow. That definitely makes the list of my top 5 fave fics EVER. Man, they should have put you in charge of writing episodes. JN would have been the most popular series on TV.

Your characterization is spot on, your humor works on several different levels, and your references make me spin around in my swivel chair of joy. You MUST email me the .doc file so I can add it to the mainsite, and then to TVtropes.

Rock on sista! :rock:

~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Excellent review, Mara! I absolutely CRACKED UP when I read the part about Carl & Sheen wearing DRESSES!!!!!!!

“It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s ULTRALORD, in his first big screen adventure! Soaring into theaters this summer!” Sheen ran by, arms out as if in flight, his purple skirt billowing out behind him.

I absolutely ROFL when I read that!!!!! Classic Sheen!! :Sheen:

[J/C AVA]

I swear Mara: WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SMILLIES!!! :kawaii:

And amazing, untouchable review only from you, as always. ^_^ :thumbsup:

[JimmyxxCindy4EVER]

Yep, she's good, alright! There's no denying that!

Just like Carl's good at being hilarious!!!!



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[J/C AVA]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Mara=^.^=]

I swear Mara: WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SMILLIES!!! :kawaii:

The magical land of deviantart... o:)


~*Mara*~ = ^.^ =