267 replies to this topic

[Kaytron]

Lovely Chapter, Gretchen!

It's very nice!

I can't wait to see what Jimmy's thinking of doing...

and Happy New Year's Eve and Day! ^_^

^Kaytron^ :ph43r:

[SweeneyxxTodd]

I've read up to chapter 14 so far and I feel like I really have to say some things.

Please don't be mad, but, um...I don't like this story. I really think you should do some major fixing. From what I've read, it's littered with typos, and it's typed in ridiculous colors that can't be read unless I highlight the text.

The first thing about this I really don't like is that the chapters are so short. If you're going to commit to a chapter story, at least make the chapters long enough to actually have things happen. You have in 14 chapters what is probably enough words for maybe 2, at best. These chapters need to be way longer and actually have important events happen in them.

Also, near the beginning, you had Judy say, "'Well, you know for the past 4 months, I've been feeling sick and gaining weight and I didn't know what is was from?'" First of all, Judy's already had a child. She knows the signs of pregnancy. She would have figured out much sooner than four months gestation that she was going to have a baby. That was just a bit unrealistic.

And when Jimmy told the class his mom was pregnant, they all cheered and suddenly he was cool just because he was going to be a big brother. Uh, what does sibling status have to do with popularity? People aren't uncool just because they have no siblings. This was also a bit unrealistic.

Another unrealistic feat was when Jimmy was able to tell what the genders of the twins were with his x-ray thingy. X-rays are for seeing bones, not babies. And another thing, the doctor isn't the one who tells the gender of the baby. That's what the ultrasound technician does. The obstetrician (baby doctor) looks at the health of the mother and baby.

And finally, I'll comment on the names of the baby girls. Jillian Margaret is a very pretty name. Is she going to have a nickname? This may have been answered in one of the chapters I didn't read, but I'm curious anyway. And I love the name Elizabeth. Will she have a nickname? There's like, a million nicknames for Elizabeth if she does have one.

But, um...






















Katilda? WTF? Sorry, but I really dislike this name and I don't think it goes with Elizabeth AT ALL.

So, the idea of this story is good, but the writing and stuff needs a lot of work. Like, a lot a lot. As in major overhauling/re-writing. Sorry, I don't want to be mean, but I really felt this needed to be said. I apologize if I come off as cruel or mean or overly critical, but I believe that constructive criticism is the best gift an author can get. So...sorry again and have a nice day.

[SweeneyxxTodd]

Thanks a lot Gretchen. I knew you'd be upset, but I didn't think you'd go so far as to attack me out in the open where everyone can see.

[SweeneyxxTodd]

Look I said I was sorry, can't you accept apologies?

Geez.

Uh, no. Not yet. You were allowed to sulk over my review for a while, why can't I have a while to sulk over your reply for a while?

[N!no]

woah woah woah...Pigquet it's a nice thing u saw this before everybody I guess.

Gretchen please as Atheena said you can't get good reviews from everyone. Each pèrson has a different point of view.
Besides , isn't it a good thing that others see stuff in another way? You can learn new and valuable information from experience on others baby.

Well and to be objective, I read Mary's review and she hasn't been rude girl. Honest!
Believe me, if you want to be a writer you have to be strong and as a becoming professional in every field you must accept in the most cool fashion way everything.

I have to be honest with you. I don't wanna talk about me, but you know I study journalism. Ahem... people that do the critics in any tiny work in there do it like omg insanely! and those people can be really tough...and rude, but here Mary hasn't been rude.
Uh,,,how can I say it? She was being honest with herself and most importantly to you. That's what I felt with the text I read.
This happened because she cares about you and wants you to improve. Girl take the good things for your improvement

I remember the first time I was in writing for the media in my freshman year...I gave with lots of enthusiasm my news report, and when I got it back it was all marked in red as if was the most catastrophical piece of work. That helped a lot. Today I work in a local newspaper and see exactly what my professors saw. The more pressure they put, the better. Of course you can't abbuse as to discourage darling.

So uh... Gretchen please? Tell me that you'll be fine with Mary.
I'm sure that you can enlarge your fics when you grab descriptions tightly.

:lol: Even I can show you a fic that I'm working on right now, but it's not from Jimmy Neutron...You can read it and review freely as you think it is to see what I mean.
Wait I think I have a chapter for a fic I was working on JN but I had writer's block on that one and continued with another one.

:kawaii: please for this year to end happily sweethearts!

[N!no]

Girls! please stop :'(

Please don't do this, I don't come here often. Please don't fight...Just forget what happened and keep moving forward.

:kawaii: :kawaii: what do you say?

*.* pleease :wub:

for the love of God and forgiveness, just let it go. :blink:

[N!no]

^_^ I understand that it is hard when you have just a written message. There could be different intentions when someone writes.
but this is IDOJ girl! cheer up!!

Is not bad that chapters are short. You just keep writing and time will do the rest. :lol: Ask Mara ^_^

:kawaii: I'm glad you understand. :dance:

[N!no]

:kawaii: Glad to be helpful :kawaii:
:thumbsup:
cool, new story! I hope I decide to post one someday :lol:

[J/C AVA]

Whoa. A WAR was happening.

I've read your chapter Gretchen, and I love it that you dedicated it to me.

So thanks.

And yeah, I can sympathize with you on how harsh Mary was to your chapter but you just hating on her too ony fuels the fire.

I know how happy you were to get out of that writer's block and finally post something you were so excited about only to have critizied by your friend.

Now I'm not pointing fingers here or siding with anyone, but Athena has a point, not every writer's work is gonna have a great review.

But if it makes you feel better, I'm egerly waitng on how your story ends.

^_^